When Assward met Bella: A THO Prequel
by JustForkIt
Summary: Wanna know how they fell in love? A prequel to The Honeymoons Over. Chronicling Bella and Edward's courtship, when Bella meets Esme for the first time, and all the good stuff in between.
1. Who The Hell Am I?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. If I did, there would be no fading to black…ever.**

**Side note: If you have not read The Honeymoons Over… well you should because this is the prequel to it.**

I patted my mother's back softly as she held me in a chokehold of a hug and sobbed against my shoulder. My father sniffed loudly and shuffled around the car, making sure everything had been taken inside.

"I just can't believe my baby is all grown up," she wailed loudly. "I'm going to miss you so much!"

People were starting to stare so I slowly pulled away and gave her an encouraging smile. "Mom, I promise I will be fine. I am only a few hours away and I will be back in a few months for Thanksgiving."

She nodded and wiped her eyes, laughing weakly at the scene she had made. My father must have felt the emotional outbursts were over because he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and held me to him.

"Remember to lock your door every time you come in or go out," he said gruffly. I tried to reassure him that I would, but he just kept talking. "Now Bella, I know how this world works. I see it every day. You and Alice just promise me you will be safe."

I wanted to ask him exactly what he saw in Forks that made him question humanity as a whole but decided against it. My sarcasm normally went unnoticed by him anyway and I didn't need another lecture from him today.

Alice appeared at his other side and wrapped her arms around his middle.

"Charlie, you know we will be safe. A little trust, please?" she smiled and batted her eyelashes up at him.

He gave both of us his "serious cop" face before kissing the top of my head and then Alice's. I hugged her parent's goodbye as she promised my mother she would look after me. After several more hugs and quite a few tears from our mothers, Alice and I stood side by side and watched as their cars left the parking lot.

"Thank God!" Alice cried sarcastically as she threw her head back.

I laughed, ignoring the bubble of nervousness that sat in my stomach as I watched my parent's car disappear around a corner. This was it--I wasn't a child anymore. I was an adult, on my own and free to make my own choices. If I wanted to leave at two in the morning to go get something to eat, I could. I didn't have to ask anybody's permission for anything, and that both excited and scared the shit out of me.

I followed her back up to our dorm room. Alice put in a CD as I fell onto my bed and stared around at the decorations our mothers had put up. The bright pinks and purples were so feminine and extremely similar to the decorations we each had back home in Forks.

"We really should have told them no," Alice sighed, her hands placed on her hips, eyes wandering around the small room. "I can't handle this much pink."

I laughed and sat up. "We should have, but we didn't."

Alice started pulling the pink curtains our mothers had hung over the windows, and together the two of us started making the room less pink and more us. She was in the middle of hanging a poster of a band her mother had forbidden her to listen to when there was a knock on our door.

I told her I would get it, and when I pulled the door open, I found one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen standing there smiling at me. My eyes blinked rapidly as she said hello in a perky voice. I muttered a hello, wondering what the hell she wanted.

"My name is Lauren. Are you Alice?" she asked quickly while her eyes scanned the room behind me.

"Oh um, no…" I looked behind me to see Alice glaring at the door. "Alice, it's for you."

"What?" she practically growled at the girl. I stepped back, watching as Lauren's perfect smile slipped off her face. I had no idea who this girl was or how she could have already pissed Alice off, but I felt sorry for her.

Lauren quickly recovered and held her hand out for Alice to shake, her smile back in place as she squared her shoulders and looked at Alice. "I'm Lauren Mallory. Your sister asked me to come by and talk to you about pledging…"

Alice shook her head and stopped her. "I have no idea what my sister told you but I can promise you I have no plans on pledging anything. That's not really my thing. There were some rather snooty looking girls a few doors down--try there."

Without even a good-bye, Alice shut the door in Lauren's face and went back to unpacking. I watched her for a second; debating on if I should risk asking her what the hell that was all about. Before I could make a decision she turned to look at me.

"It's not something I'm interested in," she said plainly. "I am not that kind of girl, even if my mother and sister want to believe I am."

I nodded, telling her I understood, and went back to my side of the room. I sunk down in my chair and started organizing my desk. I watched Alice out of the corner of my eye and couldn't help but be a little jealous of the fact that she was so confident in herself.

Alice had always been a force all her own, even as a child. From an early age she knew exactly who she was and what she wanted. Alice's sister, Sarah, had graduated the year before we became freshmen in high school. Sarah was beautiful, popular, and basically the All-American girl. When it came time for Alice to step into Sarah's place at Forks High School, she rebelled. She cut off all of her hair and declined the offer to be on the yearbook staff and in student council. She changed all of her electives to art classes and point blank refused to have anything to do with Forks' social scene. Alice had made it perfectly clear that she was _not_ her sister, and everyone knew not to challenge her on that issue. I think her mother always held out hope that her youngest daughter would eventually come around, but it was obvious she had no plans on changing.

Alice had been my best friend since second grade. Her family had just moved to Forks and from the moment I saw her walk into our classroom, I knew something was different about her. The more popular girls offered to let her sit with them at lunch but she declined and instead sat next to me and offered to share her PB&J. She didn't question why I chose to sit and read at recess instead of play like the other kids; she only sat next to me and asked me to read to her. Years flew by and our friendship became something closer to being family. Our parent's eventually gave up on refusing to let us sleep over on school nights, and throughout the week we would alternate between her house and mine. When it came time to decide on colleges, we both applied to the same ones and unsurprisingly both got accepted to the University of Washington. God knew our parent's couldn't handle us as sisters so he made us best friends instead.

Unlike Alice I was just…well I guess you could say I was plain. I did what everyone expected of me, making good grades and never getting into trouble. It was expected that I would be the ideal student. After all, my father was the police chief and my mother was the high school guidance counselor. What I never understood was why the same expectations never fell on my older brother. Emmett was a straight C student, only passing so he could play sports. He finished college, again only so he could play football, and now worked as a coach for a junior high school. Emmett was the popular guy that threw great parties, and I was the girl everyone ignored or avoided.

I can say with all honesty that I hated high school. I hated the drama and never ending bullshit that came with it. In a town the size of Forks, once you were branded something, it stayed that way…forever. To those people I would forever be the weird girl that was Emmett's little sister, or the police chief's daughter. Growing up you try to define who you are, try to figure out exactly where you stand in this world. Until now, I hadn't been given that chance. I didn't want to be the insecure wallflower that I had been for the past eighteen years of my life. I wanted to be able to be myself around people other than Alice and my family. But every time I thought about it, the same fear and insecurities would plague me all over again. Would people get my sense of humor? Would my sarcasm offend anyone? Would my random thought process make me look like a complete idiot? It made my heart rate increase just thinking about it. My problem wasn't that I was shy; it was that I didn't know if people really _got_ me.

The few times I had tried to be myself back home had ended badly. My sarcasm would make me seem like a huge bitch when instead I was just trying to break the ice.

Over time I learned to just keep my mouth shut and only be myself when I was around my family or Alice. The more I kept the real me hidden, the harder it was to remember who the hell I was. Was I shy Bella? Was I bookworm Bella? Or was I random, sarcastic Bella? I had no idea anymore and that scared the shit out of me.

I had spent the entire summer promising myself that I would try to be myself here. I was away from almost everyone that had known me in Forks and this was the perfect opportunity to figure things out. I wanted to experience new things, be open to new ideas and beliefs. I wanted to figure out what it was I wanted in life, and who the hell I actually was.

My first day as a college freshman was not going well. If this was an indication as to "who I was supposed to be," then I was supposed to be a clumsy, socially awkward girl who got lost every time she turned a corner. I had spilled coffee all over myself, accidentally knocked someone down the stairs with my backpack, and successfully managed to end up in the wrong classroom. Twice.

With a sigh, I double-checked the room for my chemistry class; after making sure it was the right one, I pulled the door open. There were a few people already inside, some reading and a few quietly talking. As I walked inside, all of their eyes turned towards me. I smiled awkwardly as I felt my face blush with embarrassment. I nervously twisted my fingers together as I made my way to one of the lab tables at the back of the class. I dropped my bag on the floor and carefully slid onto one of the high stools.

I watched as people arrived, noticing how more and more of the girls in my class were all made up. Their perfect hair and makeup made me feel slouchy. I looked down at my own plain shirt and jeans, mentally debating if I should pull my hair down from its messy ponytail and hope that it didn't look like I hadn't brushed it in a week. As my hand moved towards the back of my head I had to make myself stop. This was exactly what I _didn't_ want. It was only the first day of classes and I was already conforming to what I thought was the norm. I sat my hands in my lap and waited for the class to start.

The professor eventually called us to order, making the quiet chatter come to a stop. As she introduced herself and started explaining the syllabus, I glanced around the room. Almost everyone was either watching her or reading the paper she had passed out. I turned my head slightly to look at the table next to mine only to find some guy watching me. I quickly looked away, praying he hadn't seen me. I mentally cursed myself for not letting my hair down--it would have provided a curtain to at least hide my cheeks that were probably beet red by now.

I bit my lip nervously as my heart pounded in my chest and tried to look back at him from my peripheral vision. A fat lot of good it did, because before I knew it, my head was turned again to find him still watching me. I tried to make myself turn back around, but as his eyes narrowed into a slight glare I felt my mouth fall open from surprise. He continued watching me for a few seconds before looking back towards the front of the room.

_What the hell?_ I turned back towards the front and slightly shook my head. I leaned my elbow on the side of the table, resting my head against my hand and turning my body away from him. I had no idea who this guy was or why he felt the need to glare at me. For a split second I debated on turning to see if he was looking at me again but decided against it. Whatever his problem was, there was no way it could have anything to do with me.

I sighed and looked down at the syllabus Dr. Bryant was still explaining. I glanced over the assignments and started to worry. Chemistry and I had a mutual hatred for each other. I had almost failed it in high school and could only imagine how much worse it would be at a college level. I prayed that I would at least get paired with a strong lab partner. Looking at Dr. Bryant's grading scale, she seemed to favor lab grades as opposed to homework. Homework you could fake, get the answers straight from the books. Labs required actual knowledge about what the hell you were doing, therefore screwing me royally.

"I will randomly being choosing your lab partners, so if you guys would pair up when I call your names, we can get started," she called over the class and everyone looked around nervously. I stared straight ahead and hoped that she wouldn't stick me with the asshole sitting next to me.

I watched as my classmates were paired together--they would smile awkwardly as one of them made the first move to pair up. Fewer and fewer people were left sitting by themselves and my stomach fluttered uncomfortably.

"Isabella Swan and oh, let's see…" she said while looking over her list of students. I prayed and prayed that he wouldn't be my partner. "Edward Cullen."

She smiled and looked around. I heard a chair beside me move and I inwardly groaned. I sighed before turning to look beside me and sure enough, this Edward Cullen person was standing and looking around the room.

"Isabella?" Dr. Bryant asked and I reluctantly raised my hand.

"It's Bella," I corrected her lamely as Edward moved towards my table.

I jumped as his stool scratched against the floor when he pulled it away from the table. He sat down, dropping his bag on the floor between us and sighed heavily.

I folded my arms across my chest, holding onto the back of my arms and pretended to listen as Dr. Bryant passed out our first assignment. All I could really focus on was Edward mumbling under his breath that all of this was a waste of time. I didn't understand what he was talking about until I looked down at what she handed me and saw that it was a survey of sorts. Twenty questions we were supposed to ask our lab partners as a way of breaking the ice.

I timidly looked up at Edward and saw his eyes quickly scanning the page then glaring back at the front of the classroom. I was going to need something more than a survey to break the ice; I needed a freaking ice pick.

Once she had finished explaining the instructions, I picked my bag up off the floor and pulled a pen out of the front pocket. I was about to put it back down when Edward stopped me.

"Can I borrow a pen?"

I turned to look at him, momentarily distracted by how beautiful his eyes were. I couldn't help but stare at the intense shade of green that looked back at me. He watched me with a cocky smirk on his face that frustrated the hell out of me.

"Did you hear me?" he asked with a laugh, and I shook my head quickly before handing him the pen I had taken out earlier and pulled another one out of my bag. The asshole didn't even say thank you. Instead he pulled the cap off of the pen and pulled our assignment closer to him.

"Name?" he asked in a bored voice that made me want to roll my eyes. Had Dr. Bryant _not_ just called out both of our names?

"Isabella Swan, but everyone calls me Bella," I told him as I wrote his own name on my paper. When he didn't say anything I looked up at him again, finding that same damn smirk plastered across his face. "What?"

"You do realize your parents named you 'beautiful swan,' right?" he laughed even when my eyes narrowed while I glared at him.

Obviously he was not the first person to realize how stupid my name was, but most of the jokes had stopped when we were all in the seventh grade. I was glad to see his maturity level was advanced. Ignoring his weak attempt at humor, I continued. "Are you originally from Seattle?" I asked quietly.

"Born and raised," he answered. "You?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm from Forks."

"Forks?" he laughed while writing down my answer. "Is it close to Spoons? Or Knives?"

I dropped my pen and looked up at him and his stupid freaking cocky ass smile. This guy was seriously starting to annoy the shit out of me. "Is there anything else you would like to make fun of? How about the fact that I have an innate fear of wet paper? Or that when I was a child, I had a speech impediment?"

He looked at me for a second, the cocky smile lessening into a kind smile. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

I nodded and went back to our survey. I was about to ask him the next question when he interrupted me.

"Are you really afraid of wet paper?" he asked while a smile played on the corner of his lips.

I opened my mouth to say something snarky, maybe even bitch-like, but decided against it. I was going to have to deal with guy for the rest of the semester, so I chose to ignore him and continued on with our assignment.

In that one class I learned several things about Edward Cullen. He was an only child and a Seattle native, and he went to some private school that I assume must have been prestigious because the way he said it made it sound like I should have known what he was talking about. Edward was majoring in architecture, enjoyed music and sports, and lastly, was a complete asshole.

I was a sarcastic person, but he was overly sarcastic. He had some comment for every single thing I said, laughed at me when I admitted to being horrible with chemistry, and didn't even give me my pen back when class ended. It annoyed the shit out of me that he had this…this…pretentious and absolutely infuriating smile on his face at all times. Ugh! He was just so irritating!

I followed a group of people outside of the building, watching as Edward laughed and talked with some guy that was also in our class. He obviously didn't have problems being nice to other people, which only infuriated me more.

Rolling my eyes, I hitched my bag further up on my shoulder and carefully made my way down the stairs and out into the open quad. I kept my head down as I walked past Edward and his friend, hoping that he would be too engrossed in conversation to recognize me. Of course that didn't happen.

"Hey Bella, catch!" he called to me. It was unlucky for him and me that I had a slow reaction time, because as I turned my head to see what he was even talking about, a Frisbee collided with my forehead.

"SHIT!" I yelled loudly as the disk fell with a thud onto the ground. I rubbed my forehead as both Edward and his friend ran towards me.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Edward said with a laugh that only made me glare at him.

"I'm fine," I said poignantly as I started to walk away.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't…" he said in a fake serious voice that broke with laughter.

I shook my head and continued on my way. Edward Cullen was going to be a pain in my ass for the next four months. An hour a day, three days a week I was going to have to deal with that jackass and his antics.

As I shut the door to our dorm room behind me, I sighed and made my way over to the mirror next to Alice's closet. I groaned when I saw a welt forming over my right eye.

Edward Cullen was definitely going to be a pain in my ass.

**Assward for the mofo win! So… ask and ye shall receive! I know this was a short one, but I promise to make up for it. You know the drill… thanks to everyone for sticking with me, thanks for Little Miss Whitlock for being a fill in Beta while Hammondgirl's computer is being an r-tard… and yeah… hugs and kisses!**

**Oh PS… if you have not already check out the Stalking fic that I am writing with Little Miss Whitlock… it will make you pee in your pants from laughing.  
**


	2. Annoyance Or Not?

"Could you be anymore annoying?" I asked sarcastically while staring across the library table at Edward.

He was humming while reading through some book that he thought would supposedly help us with our newest assignment, getting progressively louder as he got deeper into thought. He looked up at me for a brief second, only giving me that signature cocky smile and going back to reading. I rolled my eyes and looked back down at my notes. They were a complete mess thanks to him.

I had agreed to let Edward look them over so we could double check that we were both on the same page. When I got them back the next class, they were completely marked up from his corrections. I could hardly read my original notes thanks to all of his red scribbling.

It had been four weeks since our first class together, and nothing had gotten better. If anything, it was worse. It was like Edward knew what buttons he could push to make me more frustrated and annoyed. I knew he did it on purpose, solely to get a rise out of me, which is why I tried my hardest to ignore him.

All of that ignoring led me to complain to Alice, which led to her constantly telling me that Edward and I were meant to be together. I would laugh at her; picturing Edward and I in a relationship was hysterical. We would kill each other within a week, no doubt about it. I normally never went against Alice's ideas; she had some weird ass sense of intuition that normally made her right. But in this one instance I was almost positive she was way off the mark.

The only feelings I had for Edward revolved around extreme frustration. It had gotten to the point that I was even dreaming about him. I kept dreaming of him just watching me with that stupid grin of his. He wouldn't ever say anything to me, just sit there and smile. Even in my dreams I could vividly remember how green his eyes were and how one corner of his mouth turned up further than the other. It was annoying the absolute shit out of me.

"Ok here read this," Edward said while shoving the book in front of me, thankfully shaking me out of the mental image of his face in my head. Although, that didn't really help much since he was sitting across from me.

I pulled the book towards me and tried to read where he was pointing. Ninety percent of it flew right over my head, combining elements and theories of practical examples… it gave me a headache. "I don't understand half of what this says, Edward, it's only making me more confused," I sighed and pushed the book back towards him.

"Because you aren't trying," He muttered and pulled the book off of the table.

"Excuse me?"

He sighed before looking at me, "Bella it really isn't that difficult, you're just making it harder than it is and giving up."

I glared at him, my hands making tight fists in my lap.

"If you would put in a little effort it wouldn't be near as complicated as you're making… Where are you going?" He asked me as I stood up and started slamming my books shut.

"I'm going home," I said quietly, but still letting my annoyance and anger seep through my voice.

"See…" Edward said and leaned back in his chair. "Giving up."

That did it. I slammed my books down on the table and ignored the shushing from the librarian and other students. _Sure they shush me, but let Mr. Perfect over here hum for three freaking hours straight and not say a damn thing about it!_

"For your information Edward, I have been staying up till three or four in the morning trying to figure this shit out!" I whispered harshly while gripping the edge of the table. "It isn't that I'm giving up, it's that I don't fucking understand any of this!"

I grabbed my bag off the floor and quickly made my way out of the library. This shit was ridiculous! The only thing I had accomplished by being Edward's lab partner was becoming very efficient at cursing. I never cussed, _ever_, and now here I was dropping the F-bomb like it was nobodies business.

I stumbled slightly as the toe of my shoe got caught on the carpet, but quickly caught myself. I pushed my bag further up on my shoulder and turned a corner without paying attention and collided, painfully, with a cart of books.

I yelled out of surprise more than anything else as I did a sort of semi-flip over the side of the cart and landed with a muted thud in the middle of the floor, right on my ass. I sat there for a split second, letting the embarrassment wash over me as people began laughing quietly. I pushed my hair off of my face and started picking up the fallen books that were around me. _It will be easier if I act like nothing had happened, _I told myself. Still on the floor, I handed the books back to the librarian that had come over to help me.

The laughter got louder and I could feel the heat radiating off of my face and neck as my eyes prickled uncomfortably by the tears threatening to spill over onto my cheeks. _So much for a fucking new start, over a hundred people were in this library and they all just witness me falling on my ass._ I took a deep breath, refusing to let them see me cry, too.

"Are you okay?" A quiet voice asked from beside me and I only nodded my head.

It wasn't until the person kneeled down next to me that I realized it was Edward. He took a stack of books out of my hands and, after putting them back on the cart, helped me stand up. I straightened my shirt and when he handed me my bag I muttered a thank you and continued walking out of the library.

I walked as fast as I could back to my dorm, muttering curse words and grinding my teeth together. _Who the hell did he think he was? Telling me I wasn't trying and just giving up!_ I stomped up the stairs and shook my head at his presumptuous behavior. He had no idea how hard I worked on this shit. I pushed the door open and let it slam behind me, ignoring Alice's wide eyed stare from her bed.

"Bad day?" She asked quietly as I threw my bag down.

I paced back and forth between our beds and pulled at my hair in frustration. I could feel Alice watching me, but couldn't bother to answer her question. "Who the hell does he think he is?" I yelled after a second. "I mean… he doesn't even know me!"

"Are we talking about Edward again?" Alice closed her notebook and rolled over on her side to watch me.

"He thinks I just give up, Alice! I mean… I work my ass for that fucking class and he acts like I just sit there and don't do anything!" I yelled at her before sinking onto my bed and rubbing my eyes, the tears finally falling.

"Bella…" Alice started but I stopped her.

"No. I'm done… I just… I want to go to sleep," I said tiredly and Alice nodded. A few minutes later both of us were wide awake in a dark room and not talking at all.

There was a forced politeness between Edward and me the next few weeks. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but Dr. Bryant had refused to let me change partners. I explained to her that I just had personal conflicts with Edward, but her only response was that we both needed to grow up and work out our own differences. This lead to me being stuck in a chemistry lab, trying my hardest to figure out what it was I was supposed to be doing.

"That isn't the right answer," Edward whispered from beside me.

I looked at him, willing myself to not shove him off of his stool, and shook my head. "Well if you know the answer then by all means feel free to fucking help me," I whispered back harshly while pushing my book at him.

He took it with a smirk on his face and started flipping though the pages. I took a deep breath, trying to make myself calm down. We had been in this fucking lab for two hours and still we were no where near finished.

"Here, reread that part. The answer's in the second paragraph." He handed the book back to me and I snatched it out of his hands. He looked at me for a moment before looking around the lab. "I'm going to go get a drink."

"You do that," I muttered under my breath and shook my head as he walked away. Why was he so infuriating? It was almost like he was doing it on purpose, but why the hell would someone purposely want to make someone else mad? Not just mad, but livid. He made me so angry at times that I had to physically restrain myself from hitting him. This was like a huge fucking game to him and I hated it.

I pulled my portable CD player out of my backpack and slid my headphones on. I turned the volume up so that it would drown out the noise of the other students talking and tried to concentrate on what I was reading. My eyes blurred on the second sentence and my mind drifted back to what it always did…him.

It was like ever since he had helped me in the library I couldn't stop thinking about him. His moods were so hard to decipher and that only made me more frustrated. One day he was a complete jackass, and then out of no where he would be a nice guy again. I hated thinking about him constantly, and I really hated the fact that Alice was convinced I was falling in love with him. Falling in love with Edward Cullen was the last damn thing I needed… or wanted.

When I saw Edward walking back inside I hastily went back to reading. He sat down, looking a little more relaxed. When I caught the distinct smell of marijuana wafting off of him I knew why. I looked up at him and shook my head.

"What?" He asked me quietly.

I mouthed the word "nothing" and went back to reading. I could feel him watching me, but this was not a discussion I was going to have with him in the middle of the chemistry lab.

I sat there reading, tapping my pencil against the side of my book and bouncing my knee up and down to the beat of the music I was listening to. The music abruptly stopped I looked up to see Edward opening the CD player.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked angrily.

"I wanted to see what you were listening to." He explained like it was the simplest thing in the world. Obviously it made more sense for him to just stop my damn CD then ask me a fucking question. "Wow Bella, I am impressed," He nodded his head appreciatively before I pulled my CD player out of his hands and yanked my earphones off. "I would have pegged you for a generic Backstreet Boys or Britney Spears kind of girl," he smiled and looked at me. "But, Sublime is a good choice."

I was momentarily distracted by his genuine smile but quickly recovered. "There are a lot of things you could learn about people if you would take the time to ask questions."

He looked at me as if he wanted to say something but I went back to reading. I had no interest in spending all night in here arguing with him. I saw out of the corner of my eye that he eventually stopped looking at me and went back to his portion of the assignment.

"Ok, so what is your favorite song?" He asked me after a few moments of silence.

I looked up at him. "Are you serious? You want to do this right now?"

"Why not right now?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"We are in the middle of the chemistry lab Edward, with a project due on Monday, and we aren't even halfway finished with yet."

"Oh I already finished it," He pulled a small notebook out of his backpack and handed it to me.

"What do you mean you finished it?" I asked loudly and flipped through the pages. My mouth fell open when I saw our lab report typed out and completely finished.

"I mean I finished it. I already had my part done and just did yours based off of the notes you gave me last… What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

I clinched my teeth together to keep from yelling at him. My hands shook furiously as I slammed my book shut and began throwing my shit back in my bag. He watched me like I might be having a small mental breakdown and when I got up and walked off he followed me.

"Bella what the hell is wrong with you?" He caught the door I tried to slam behind me and followed me outside.

I laughed sarcastically and turned around to look at him.

"If you finished this fucking project last week then why the hell did I have to spend the last two hours stuck in the God damned lab with you? Why did you tell me it was wrong when it fact it was actually right?" I turned around and screamed at him. "And why the fuck did you tell me that I didn't try?!? That I just gave up?!?"

"Well how else will you learn if you don't research it and do all of the work?" He asked me with a slight shoulder shrug.

I threw his notebook back at him and started to walk off. I fisted my hands in an attempt to make them stop shaking, and really hoped that I wouldn't start crying like I normally did when I was frustrated. I took a deep breath and decided that I couldn't take this shit any longer. I turned around, expecting Edward to be a few yards behind me where I had left him. It threw me off guard when I turned and he was less than a foot behind me and made me stumbled backwards.

He grabbed my arms to keep me from falling, and pulled me back to him. I looked up, my face only a few inches from his and made an embarrassing gasping sound, when I saw him looking down at me. His eyes had changed to such a dark green that they almost looked black. They were so focused on my face that I could feel my cheeks blush in embarrassment.

The feeling of his hands wrapped around my arms made the strangest sensation run through my body. I knew for a fact that Edward hadn't ever held onto me, but yet it felt so familiar and comfortable. It was like my body craved more of it, not even in a sexual way, just like it was longing for something. Like Edward's touch was the last piece to a puzzle I had been trying to solve.

We stayed like that for a few seconds before he straightened both of us back up. He let go of my arms and immediately took a step back. I am sure I looked like a complete idiot, staring at him with my mouth hanging open.

"Thank… Thank you," I mumbled awkwardly.

He nodded his head, and began making excuses about having to be somewhere. I thanked him again and turned to walk back to my car. I stared straight ahead as I walked, trying to catch my breath and wondering what the hell had just happened.

I opened the door to my car and as I threw my bag onto the passenger seat when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head slightly and saw Edward standing exactly where I had left him. I self-consciously got in the car, and after pulling out of my parking spot looked back and saw that Edward was gone.

I drove back to my dorm, went inside and numbly walked up the stairs to my room. I didn't have a clue what had just happened, all I knew was that I wouldn't ever be able to forget the way Edward had been looking at me.

I went to bed and again had the same dream about Edward, his eyes and smile taunting me. Only this time, I also felt him. I could feel his hands wrapped around my arms, and then my back. Eventually the normal bright green of his eyes faded to the dark emerald from earlier, and his smile got smaller as his lips came closer to mine. I could feel him kissing me, his lips soft and tender against mine. I could feel his hands running up my back and into my hair. The longer we kissed the more urgent it became. He pulled me closer to him as his fingers threaded themselves through my hair, holding me against him.

Eventually his lips moved off of mine and I could feel his hot breath on my neck and collarbone. I could feel my heart beating faster as his kisses resumed down my shoulder, lower and lower until he was softly kissing the top of my breasts. I moaned as he slowly took one of my nipples in his mouth.

"Bella!"

I bit my lip, trying to concentrate on the feeling of his mouth on me, but couldn't understand why Alice was here. I heard her voice again and my eyes flew open. I was looking at the ceiling, gasping and my hands fisted in the sheets beside me.

"Bella wake up!" Alice whispered harshly again and I looked over at her. "You were having a nightmare, are you okay?"

I nodded and promised her I was fine. When she rolled back over I shook my head and tried to catch my breath. _What the fuck?!?_ I asked myself as I rubbed my face harshly. The second my eyes shut, all I could see was him and I immediately opened them again. I couldn't think of anything else besides his lip and hands, even the way he smelled. I could still feel the phantom touch of his lips on my nipple and shook my head franticly. _No. No. No. Bella, you can not let this happen!_

I sat up and looked at the clock. It was four in the morning and I knew there wasn't a chance in hell I would let myself go back to sleep. I got out of bed, pulled a hoodie over my t-shirt and grabbed my backpack.

I quietly slipped out of the room and went to the common area. I fell back against the couch and shook my head. Goose bumps erupted along my neck and shoulders as I remembered the feeling of his hands on me. I ignored them and pulled my books out and began to try and study. Four hours later, I was still staring at the same page and still thinking the same thing. I was in love with Edward Cullen, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I pushed myself up off the couch and reluctantly went to go get ready for the day.

By the time my classes ended I was exhausted. I had been so scared that I would see Edward, which was absurd because I never saw him on Thursdays. But, we had our chemistry class tomorrow and the more I thought about it, the more anxious I got. What would he say to me? Would he even bother acknowledging that something had happened? I threw my bag on the bed and pulled at the end of my hair in frustration. This was so fucking absurd; those thirty seconds he had held on to me probably meant nothing to Edward. I was making a big ass deal out of nothing. I needed a distraction, and it arrived in the shape of Alice Brandon.

"You have to go with me to this," she said happily while tossing a folded up piece of paper at me, shutting the door behind her.

I unfolded it, and read the flyer. It was for some guy named Jasper Whitlock who was playing at a bar called Riley's tonight. I looked back up at Alice who was pulling clothes out of her closet and tossing them on her bed.

"Who is Jasper Whitlock?"

She shrugged and turned back to look at me, "I don't know who he is, but I know I'm supposed to go see him play tonight."

"For a class?" I asked.

"No, just because I need to," She smiled and handed me a shirt.

I took it, but shook my head as she started picking out shoes. "Alice, what the hell are you talking about? You want me to go with you some bar that we know nothing about to hear some guy we don't even know play?"

"Yes. Now get dressed," she answered simply. I knew better than to try and argue with her, so I got up and got dressed.

Two hours later I was sitting next to her in some dive of a bar, wondering how the hell I let her talk me into this shit. We hadn't even been in the bar for an hour and we already had to turn down nasty old men who had asked us to dance. We were the only people in here under the age of thirty, and I felt dirty just having some of these guys looking at me. I moved closer to Alice and hoped that if anyone asked, she would be ok with me saying we were lesbians.

"He should be on after this set finishes!" Alice yelled over the music and I nodded. I looked around, not really sure what I was looking for. If I was being honest with myself I was looking for Edward. But, that only made me angrier with myself, and I sighed in disappointment. I just had this weird aching feeling to be near him now. I couldn't understand how I had gone from absolutely hating him to needing to be right next to him in the span of a day. It was stupid, and it made me feel like an idiot.

My pouting was interrupted as Alice starting clapping loudly. I looked back to the stage and saw the back of some guy. He didn't really look like anything I would consider Alice's type, with his dingy jeans and boots. But when I looked over at my best friend, whose face was lit up like a Christmas tree, I couldn't help but be excited for her.

Jasper turned back around and lowered himself onto a stool in front of the microphone. He shook his shaggy blonde hair off of his face and smiled as he slowly began strumming a few notes. He was cute, not at all my type, but cute. He seemed to have a laidback way about him, and a confidence that wasn't cocky or conceded. It was something that just said "I am who I am, take it or leave it."

I watched in amusement as Alice bit her lip in excitement and clapped along with his singing. She was standing on a chair to be able to see over the crowd of people standing between us and the stage. I wasn't much taller than she was, but I could see Jasper's eyes roaming over the crowd as he sang. His eyes stopped when he found Alice, and through the rest of the song he would glance back and forth between her and his guitar.

When his first song ended I clapped along with everyone else while Alice whistled loudly. Jasper smiled and licked his lips nervously before starting the next song. He played a few notes before leaning forward and talking into the mic.

"In case ya'll didn't know, my name is Jasper Whitlock," he said in a heavy southern accent and that shocked me. I looked back at Alice to see if she was surprised, but she was watching him like they were the only two people in the room.

"I made my way to Seattle from a little town out in West Texas, and I sure am glad ya'll came out to hear me play tonight. This is one I wrote myself, and I… Well, I really hope ya'll enjoy it," he said with an easy smile and glancing back up at Alice.

She giggled as he pulled away from the microphone and started playing again. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it while bouncing up and down. I couldn't help but laugh at her giddiness.

I had never seen Alice act like this, ever. Not even when she caught Joey McIntyre's hat at a New Kids on the Block concert in fourth grade. Alice wasn't the giggling girlie type. She didn't fuss over gossip magazines, or attach some guy's last name to hers and scribble it all over her notebooks. But looking at Alice now, it was like she was someone else all together. We sat through his entire set and not once did Alice's eyes ever look anywhere but at him.

When he had stopped playing, he leaning down off the stool to pick up a beer bottle, took a slow drink and sat it back down before running a hand through his hair. "I guess my time is about up, and I have to say again how much I appreciate you guys coming out," Jasper said as he smiled humbly and thumbed a few chords. "But, before I leave tonight, I just have this strange feeling that I'm supposed to play this…"

He closed his eyes and slowly shook his head as he played few notes as people cheered and clapped. Alice gasped before leaning down and grabbing my hand. "Oh my God, Bella, he's playing Cindy Lauper!" She said excitedly before standing back up and swaying slowly with the music.

Cindy Lauper? I looked up at her as I listened, and after a few minutes I put the notes together. Jasper was playing _Time after Time_, which just happened to be one of Alice's favorite songs.

I stood up on the chair next to her and watched as Jasper sang softly, his eyes closed and his hair falling onto his forehead. Alice had her eyes closed too, her hands clasped together in front of her chest, swaying slightly. Her lips were moving slowly along with the lyrics, and I felt like I was intruding on some private moment between the two of them.

It was bizarre to see two people who had never even met before, share something that was so powerful that it almost left you breathless. I doubted that anyone else in the bar even noticed it, but it was almost like I could feel it, this slight hum of electricity that was flowing between the two of them.

When he was finished people clapped and whistled, but Alice only stood there with her hands held against her chest and watching him. He muttered another thank you and began packing up his guitar. I let her stand there for a few minutes before I gently grabbed her arm and asked if she was ok.

She nodded slowly and looked at me, "Bella I am going to marry him."

"What?!" I asked incredulously. Alice had never, not once, ever mentioned herself and anything to do with marriage in the same sentence. It was alarming that she would just blurt that out, especially since she hadn't even met the guy yet!

"I can just feel it, like I've been waiting on him my whole life," she said softly before looking back at the stage.

I followed her eyes, and saw Jasper standing there watching the two of us as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. He smiled before looking away and shaking the hands of people who had come to talk to him. She let go of my hand, and without even looking back, jumped down off her chair and made her way over to him.

The closer that Alice got to him, the wider Jasper Whitlock's smile got. He stepped around a few people and when she reached him he leaned down so that he could listen to her. With him standing up straight she only hit the middle of his chest, and I had to admit that they were cute. I watched as they talked, noticing how Alice took his hand with out any hesitation, and how Jasper didn't seemed at all surprised by any of this. I smiled; maybe Alice was right after all.

I felt someone watching me and slightly turned my head to see some creepass man staring at me. He smiled, and without smiling back, I turned back forward. I heard the chair behind me move and prayed that it was just someone moving it to get by.

"Well hello," A gruff voice said from behind me. Without even turning around I could smell the alcohol and cheap cigarettes on him. He reeked.

I smiled politely but moved my chair further away from him, hoping he would get the hint. He didn't.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked sloppily while leaning into me and resting his arm on the back of my chair.

Mentally, I began recalling the self-defense class my father had made me take with my mom. I remembered to go for the knee and that if I could to pull hair or scratch his face to get DNA samples. Ok, maybe that was taking it a bit far, but this was Seattle, not Forks, and you never knew what could happen.

"No thank you, I am just waiting on my friend," I nodded in the direction of Alice and hoped that she would be finished soon.

"I'm Waylon," He persisted as he leaned in even closer to me.

I pushed myself away from him and out of the chair. He grabbed my hand, this time offering me a dance. I again refused and pulled my hand away from him. I knew that I would be interrupting Alice, and I really didn't want to do that, but Waylon was looking a little too eager.

I pushed myself through the crowd until I found Alice and Jasper sitting and talking. I felt so guilty interrupting them, but when I turned to just find another place to sit I saw Waylon coming for me.

"Alice I am so sorry…" I began until Jasper stood up. He held his hand out as Alice introduced us and I shook it lamely. "Oh God, I am sorry for interrupting you guys, but I just… I can't get this guy to leave me alone…"

"Don't be silly Bella, I wanted you to meet Jasper anyway," Alice said excitedly. Jasper looked over my shoulder. I turned to see him glaring at Waylon who was now slinking back into the crowd looking slightly scared.

Jasper sat back down and smiled as Alice began telling me his life story, or at least what all she had found out about him in the twenty minuets she had been talking to him. He had four sisters, had moved to Seattle from Texas to "really" get into the music business. When I asked him why Seattle and not LA, he told me it was because Seattle was more his style. Jasper was four years older than us and had graduated from some school in Texas with a music degree. How Alice had found all of this out in the span of a twenty-minute conversation was beyond me.

We sat there talking for hours and actually ended up closing down the bar. Jasper walked us back to my car; I got in and smiled while resisting the urge to giggle like a twelve year old as they told each other good-bye. Fifteen minutes later, Alice got in the car and had one of the stupidest grins on her face.

"Did he kiss you?" I asked quietly as I pulled out of the parking lot, she only nodded. "Are you going to tell me about it?"

"A lady doesn't kiss and tell," she said slyly before looking at me and smiling.

"Bullshit, Alice."

She laughed and before I could even make it down the block she was giving me the full details of her and Jasper's kiss. It was nothing like what I would expect for a first kiss, very chaste and well… boring. But, it made Alice happy, and if it made her happy then I was happy.

We got back to our room at three in the morning and I reluctantly set my alarm. Morning classes were going to be a bitch on only five hours of sleep, especially when I knew I would be worried about seeing Edward all morning until our one class together.

I was about to get in bed when Alice reminded me that I had promised Emmett I would let him know when we got back. I decided against calling since I didn't want to wake up his roommates, so jostled my mouse to get my computer out of idle. "I'll just leave him an instant message," I sighed and leaned my head sideways sleepily as I waited.

I pulled up the instant messaging program and hurriedly typed an explanation of tonight's events to Emmett. I smiled as I wrote about Waylon, knowing that it would get my brother all riled up as soon as he read it. I hit send and laughed as Alice told me I would eventually be the cause of my brother having a heart attack. I was about to get up when I saw that the IM window was to and _not_ . I froze half way out of my seat.

"Oh shit…" I mumbled and reread the screen and everything that I had just sent to Edward. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I yelled loudly and hurriedly turned my computer off before he would have a chance to respond.

"What?" Alice sat up and looked at me. "Did you see a mouse or something?" I shook my head while silently staring at the computer monitor. "Well for Christ's sake tell me what the hell happened," Alice yelled, throwing the blankets off of her.

"I sent the message to Edward, not Emmett," I explained meekly and looked back at my best friend. "I just told Edward that I enjoyed having a forty year old man hit on me."

Alice smiled before covering her mouth. After a few seconds she shook her head and grabbed my hand. "It will be fine, I am sure he was a sleep and won't even get it until tomorrow," She told me in a reassuring voice but I knew better than that.

"His status wasn't idle," I covered my face with my hands and shook my head slowly. Could I make myself look like a bigger idiot? I mean really, there wasn't a possibility that this could get any worse.

My phone started ringing and I stared at Alice, hoping she would tell me it wasn't who I thought it was. She calmly looked at the caller ID and smiled.

"It's Edward," she handed me the phone and knocked my chair over backwards in an attempt to get away from the damn phone that was still ringing.

"Alice, tell him I'm not here!"

"He knows you are here Bella you just sent him an instant message," she explained calmly. "Just talk to him."

Reluctantly I nodded my head and she put it on speaker phone. "Hello?" I asked quietly while my heart pounded in my chest. There was a short pause before I heard Edward sigh.

"I can't do this anymore," he said softly and I looked at Alice in confusion. She got back in her bed and watched me with a smile on her face.

"Can't do what?" I asked with genuine confusion. Edward's tone of voice was so different than anything I had ever heard from him before. It sounded so defeated and just… so not Edward. He sighed again and ignored my question, instead asking me one of his own.

"Bella, will you go out to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

I blinked in confusion as Alice clapped quietly and bounced up and down on her bed. I waved my hand at her to calm down but she ignored me.

"You want to go to dinner with me?" I asked Edward, thinking that this had to be a joke.

"Yes, tomorrow night."

I stared at the phone and then looked back at Alice. She mouthed for me to say yes but I ignored her. "Is this to discuss the project?" I asked as I pushed my hair behind my ears. I heard Edward laugh quietly while Alice rolled her eyes at me.

"No, I would like to take you out on a date. This has nothing to do with school."

"Um, okay," I shrugged and shook my head at Alice who was telling me to sound more enthusiastic. I flipped her off, picked the phone up off the desk between us, and took him off speaker phone. "Wait you mean like a real date?"

"Yes, a real date Bella," he said and I could tell he was smiling.

We quickly hashed out a few of the details, and after agreeing we would talk more tomorrow during class, hung up. I put the phone back on the desk and stared at the floor.

"How great is it that we both started dating our future husbands on the same night?" Alice asked excitedly, but I ignored her. It was way too fucking early to deal with that kind of talk. I turned the light off and got in bed without saying one word to her. I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly as she continued to talk about how great it would be for Jasper and Edward to become friends.

Eventually Alice stopped talking, and even though I knew I should have been trying to sleep, I was staring at the ceiling wondering what the hell was going on. I allowed myself a brief second of enthusiasm, letting my heart flutter happily, before I reminded myself that there was no way Edward Cullen would ever be interested in someone like me.

I rolled over onto my side and pulled my pillow closer to me and willed myself to go to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long ass day.

**AN: Okay okay! So I am super worried that some of you will think this is moving way too fast… which it is. But, we know they get together and we know they get married… so I want to get to the good stuff! It is hard to put six years worth of relationship into one story… so for a while it will be moving quickly!**

**I hope you guys have a great Christmas, Chanukah or Kwanza… whatever the case may be! And Happy New Year!!!!**

**(PS no one throw Wii controllers or fall off of curbs. Kinky hot sex at the in-laws is encouraged though.)**

**Thanks to Maggie for giving this a quick edit!  
**


	3. At The Beginning

**Happy birthday Miss Maggie!! This one is for you!**

"So, why is he not picking you up?" Alice asked again as she watched me getting ready. "If this is a date and all, shouldn't he be picking you up?"

I loved Alice, a lot, but she was annoying the shit out of me. I groaned when I accidently stabbed myself in the eye with my mascara wand and decided to just let it be. I hadn't ever been a whole lot of makeup kind of girl, and Edward could just deal with it.

"Because if this thing goes to hell in a hand basket I want to be able to get out," I basically growled at her. I didn't handle anxiety well, especially when I had less than two hours of sleep the night before. I took a deep breath and started over. "I just… I want to drive myself."

Alice sat on the bed next to me and grabbed my makeup bag. "Close your eyes."

I did what she said, and after a few seconds she had my makeup applied and thankfully was going to meet Jasper downstairs. This was their first official date, and I really wished she could be just as nervous and borderline hysterical I was. It wasn't right that she didn't have to be all freaked out.

"Have fun," she said while patting the top of my head. I rolled my eyes and watched her leave.

I fell back against my bed and sighed. _Why did I even agree to this_? Seeing him in class had only made me more nervous, and even though he was being nice, that damn smirk of his still irritated the crap out of me.

Dinner and a movie, that's all this was. I kept telling myself that, hoping that it would make me relax. I even started muttering it like some sort of mantra while I drove to his apartment, but I still felt all wound up.

I parked and looked up at the apartment building that Edward supposedly lived in. It didn't really seem like the kind of place that an eighteen year old college student would live, but I double checked the address and just went with it. Worst case scenario would be that I had the wrong address, and then I could just leave and go home. The worst case scenario was looking pretty good.

After making a complete idiot of myself with the security guard downstairs I practically ran into the elevator as soon as it opened. How the hell was I supposed to know that I had to "check in" before I went upstairs? I leaned back against the wall as the elevator moved slowly. This was not turning out how I wanted, but at least he had confirmed that Edward did live here.

When the doors slid open I nervously looked around as I walked out into the hallway. This apartment building was like something you saw in movies, with its long carpeted hallways, expensive paintings and artwork. I stared around and felt entirely out of place.

I walked down the hallway until I found Edward's door. I stood there staring at it for several moments, mentally debating if I should stay or go. Mumbling to myself, I decided I looked both pathetic and crazy, and made my mind up to just leave. I could pretend I was sick, and we could redo this whole damn thing later. I had taken a couple of steps back towards the elevator when his door opened.

"Bella?" I heard him ask with a laugh and I froze. "Are you leaving?"

I took a deep breath and turned around, I should have just denied it and told him I got lost or thought I had the wrong door. But the second I saw him, every rational thought I had in my vanished.

"Um, no… I just… I thought I left my keys in my car," I mumbled and after a few seconds realized why he was laughing. I was nervously fidgeting with the keys I was holding in my hand. Yeah…I needed to learn to lie better.

Edward smiled, and even though he hadn't verbalized a smartass remark, I knew he had one and was just holding it back. Instead of saying anything though, he stepped aside and invited me in. I jumped when he shut the door behind him, and ignored his slight chuckle. I walked through the entryway and stopped when I entered the living room.

This place was huge, and by huge I mean that you could probably have fit three of our dorm rooms just in the living area. I looked around at the furniture and gawked when I saw a piano sitting behind the sofa. What the hell kind of eighteen year old kid has a full sized piano? Where was the cinderblock entertainment center and crappy furniture? I turned around and saw Edward watching me.

"Do you live here?" I asked and waved my hand at the space behind me.

"Yes," he answered with a laughed and moved past me. He asked me for my coat and I shrugged out of it and handed it to him.

"So you live with your parents then?" I asked while he took my coat and put it over the back of one of the chairs to the dining table.

"No Bella, I live here alone. Why?"

I sighed and looked back around the room, "How the hell does an eighteen year old live here?"

Edward smiled and leaned back against the table and crossed his arms across his chest, still fucking smirking at me, "My parents bought this apartment for my dad." I must have been staring at him like an idiot because he just laughed and explained further. "My dad is a cardiologist. He used to work a lot of different hours, and instead of driving all the way back home, he would just stay here. They kept it and now I live here," He said and shrugged after pushing away from the table. "Do you want something to drink?"

I shook my head and kept looking around the apartment. "So your dad plays the piano then?"

"No, that's actually mine. I've been playing since I was a kid." He smiled and watched me as I walked over to the piano and looked at it. Its black surface was so shiny that you could see your reflection in it. "Do you… I mean would you like me to play for you?"

I felt my eyes get wide and I watched as he walked past me and sat behind the piano, smiling at me. He motioned for me to join him, and I slowly made my way over. "You don't have to," I muttered.

He looked up and again gave me that same damn smirk. Without even thinking I just snapped. "Okay, what the hell is with your fucking smirking all the time?" I basically yelled.

"What?" Edward asked, looking confused.

"You just… You always have this smirk when you're looking at me. And I can't tell if it's because you hate me… or if you're making fun of me. I just… I hate it!" I yelled at him. I might have felt a little bad, but when I saw him _still_ smirking I felt totally justified. "See you are doing it right now!"

"Bella, I don't hate you," he said and stood up.

"Well then what is it? Because I know I am not that damn funny." I crossed my arms across my chest.

He watched me for a second, then the normally cocky expression that he always had faded into something else. It was a look I hadn't ever seen on him before; it was almost intimate in a way. His eyes seemed softer, his smile more affectionate. It was almost endearing.

"Bella," Edward said quietly and took a step closer to me. "I just…" He sighed and ran his hands through this hair until they were resting on the back of his neck,

"Just what?" I asked.

"It's you," He said and gave me a small and pathetic sort of smile.

I didn't know what to say I just stood there.

"I told you I couldn't do this anymore, and I meant it," Edward explained and took another step closer to me. Making it to where I had to look up to meet his gaze. "I am so nervous around you, and it's like I have no idea how to act."

"You're nervous? Because of me?" I asked him, not even trying to hide the skepticism in my voice.

He nodded and after a few seconds of looking at me, sat back down on the piano bench. "I tried to pretend like it wasn't anything special, tried to just ignore it… but… I can't. And I don't even want to now," he said softly as his fingers trailed over the keys.

"Why?" I asked while being shocked at the fact that he could actually play.

He smiled and I could have sworn I saw him blush slightly. "I was such an ass to you in class…"

"Well the Forks joke was kind of lame," I muttered in agreement.

Edward sighed and looked up at me, the music stopped and the blush on his cheeks was more obvious. "I did everything wrong. I was trying to act nonchalant and like I didn't have these feelings for you. I ended up making a huge ass of myself," he said quietly while looking up at me. "I'm sorry."

"You have feelings for me?" I asked, louder than I meant to, and when he started laughing I knew it was now my turn to blush.

"Since the first day of class," he nodded. "Then that night outside of the lab, I just… I knew I couldn't hide it anymore."

The night outside of the lab, the night he had caught me when I was about to fall. Just thinking about that night I could remember the feeling that had coursed through my body when he touched me.

"You felt it too?" I asked in a hushed voice.

He looked at me, his eyes roaming over my face, and after a few seconds nodded and said, "I felt it. And it scared the shit out of me."

"Me too," I admitted quietly and tried to ignore the way my heart was pounding.

"Then you send me that message about going out to some bar, and having all of those men trying to hit on you. I figured I should make my move before you found someone else," he laughed quietly and started playing again.

"I did not say it was more than one male Edward, I said it was a dirty old man," I corrected him and sighed. "And it isn't like I have a line of prospects just waiting to date me."

The music stopped again and he looked back up at me.

"Just me then?" he asked and I swear my heart stopped beating.

"You… You want to date me?" I asked him quietly.

Edward smiled; the same endearing and soft smile from before, and stood up. He walked over to me, again making me look up to see his expression. Without saying anything he held both of my hands in his. His long fingers curved around mine, and just like before, that strange sense of familiarity and longing ran through my body.

"You feel that?" He asked quietly, and all I could do was nod. "Does it answer your question?" Again I nodded, not really sure how to respond. I mean, three days ago I pretty much hated Edward, and now we were discussing the two of us dating?

"It doesn't have to make sense Bella," he said, interrupting my internal debating.

"You aren't messing with me are you?" I looked up at him and then back down at our hands. He laughed softly before telling me no. I looked back up and saw him smiling, a genuine smile. "Hmm…"

"What?" He asked and pulled me back to the piano.

"I just… this is really embarrassing to say, but you have a really nice smile when you actually mean it and you're not being a smart ass," I said and sat next to him on the piano bench. He laughed loudly and I couldn't help but smile as I watched him.

"I will keep that in mind," he said with a nod and once again the apartment was filled with the sound of the piano.

For six hours I watched Edward play while the two of us talked. We talked about everything and nothing, life, music, cartoons from the eighties, and even what our favorite cereals were. I learned a lot about Edward in those six hours, mostly that he wasn't as big of a jackass as I had originally thought. He was a very talented musician who loved to laugh and was probably a little too mischievous for his own good.

He refused to let me drive home so late at night, and the entire time he drove me back to my dorm I was freaking out about the idea of him kissing me goodnight. Did I want him to kiss me? Did he even want to kiss me? The entire night he had given me little touches, and each time the same feeling had ran through my body. I couldn't even imagine what kissing him would be like, but I had a feeling that it would be my undoing. He pulled into a parking space and I slowly took my seatbelt off, watching as he looked up at the building in front of us and then back at me.

"I'll walk you up to the door," he said with a smile and took his own seatbelt off. I said okay and started to open the door but he stopped me. "I'll get the door."

I nodded and laughed when he shut his own door and basically ran around the car to open mine. I got out and shook my head at his goofy smile.

"Where were these manners the day you hit me in the head with a frisbee?" I asked and pulled my coat tighter around me. He sighed and shoved his hands into his jean pockets.

"I was just trying to get you to come and talk to me," Edward muttered and I laughed a little too loudly. He turned and looked at me with an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face.

"Well for future reference, instead of hitting me with a frisbee, just say 'hey Bella'. It will be much more effective for you and a lot less painful for me," I said and smiled when he held onto on of my hands.

"How about we just forget about how much of a jackass I was?" He asked with a smile and looked down at me. "Let's jut focus on how nice of a guy I will be in the future."

I laughed and agreed but only if he promised to answer one more question for me. He said he would, and when we reached the steps leading up to the door I stood on the second one so that I would level with him.

"Why did you finish the lab report without me?" I asked and watched as his head dropped a little before he looked back up at me.

If this was going to be something that lasted, there was no way Edward could just continue to do my assignments for me. We still had nearly two months worth of classes and a final together. He would have to let me learn and be patient with the fact that it was going to take some time for me to understand everything.

"Um," he said hesitantly and kicked the toe of his shoe against the step I was standing on. He sighed and then looked back up at me saying, "I felt bad. You had said that you were up 'til all hours of the night trying to figure it out, and I just didn't want you to be stressed out about it anymore."

"So you were trying to be nice?" I asked quietly.

"Your notes were basically correct. I mean I only had to fix a few things," he explained and shrugged his shoulders while his hand held tighter to mine.

"Will you promise me something Edward?" I asked and smiled when he looked up at me.

"Anything," he agreed.

"Don't do that again," I said and narrowed my eyes at him in a sarcastic manner.

He smiled and nodded his head before leaning towards me. My heart broke out into a sprint and I closed my eyes. I waited for his lips to touch mine and when they didn't I opened one of my eyes and frowned when I saw him looking at me.

Edward smiled and leaned in, he kissed my forehead before smirking and telling me goodnight.

"What?" I asked and grabbed his hand. That was it? That's all he was going to do was kiss my forehead?

"Oh I'm sorry. Did you need something?" He asked sarcastically and tried to look all angelic while he stood there looking up at me.

"You are a tease," I muttered and pulled my keys out of my pocket. I turned around and was walking up the last few steps when Edward's grabbed my shoulders and turned me back around.

He looked at me for a second then leaned forward so that his head was next to mine. My eyes closed as his cheek brushed against mine and when he started whispering I bit my lip.

"I am not a tease," he whispered against my ear, making goose bumps erupt along my neck and back. "I just don't kiss on the first date. Goodnight Bella."

He pulled away from me after kissing the top of my head. He winked and let go of my hand before he walked back down the stairs. I blinked a couple of times before unlocking the door and letting myself in.

** *** **

"Hey beautiful," Edward said before he kissed the top of my head and pulled his chair out and sat down next to me. "How was the test?"

"It was good," I answered and smiled when the librarian shushed us. I looked at Edward and whispered, "I got an A."

I watched as Edward's face lit up with a smile before he leaned over and kissed my cheek. "That's great Bella!" He whispered excitedly.

I told him thank you, but internally grumbled that he still hadn't kissed me. We had been dating for nearly a month and still no fucking kisses! I starting to wonder if there was something wrong with me, like if maybe my lips repulsed him or something, but every time I asked him if that's what it was he would tell me I was being ridiculous.

I didn't buy this whole "you can't fake a kiss" bullshit he was trying to get me to believe. He would kiss any other part of my body, my head or cheek. Hell he had even kissed my neck and shoulders a few times! Why was kissing my lips such a big fucking deal to him? I fought back the resentment I was feeling and tried to look happy.

"So are you ready to go? Tonight's the night." Edward said as he leaned his elbows against the table and watched me while I shoved my stuff back into my bag. "I finally get to meet The Alice."

I laughed at the nickname he had given her and nodded. Alice was basically foaming at the mouth the meet Edward, but I had been reluctant to let that happen. Alice could be a lot to handle, and up until recently I wasn't really sure Edward was up for it. Alice might be little, but she could be intimidating as hell.

He obviously knew about her, and about Jasper. And after hearing several stories about some of the antics we had pulled when we were younger, Edward had started calling her The Alice. When I told her this, she seemed to think it was hysterical and I was actually a little relieved that it seemed like the two of them would get along.

"Do you not find it a little odd that I know more about your best friend than I do your family?" Edward asked while I gave him directions to Jasper's apartment.

I shrugged, hoping he would drop the subject. The last thing I wanted was Edward meeting my family. They would make a big ass deal out of it, and I knew I wasn't ready for that. We actually hadn't discussed family that much. I knew his dad was a doctor, that he was an only child and that his parents lived just outside of Seattle, but other than that I didn't know much else. I figured sooner rather than later I would be meeting his parents since he had already told them about me.

"You aren't from a family of circus clowns or anything, are you?" He asked seriously and I shook my head at his question. "Oh good, clowns freak me out."

I knew he was bating me, but I chose to just skip over it.

"Alice is like family to me," I said and pointed for him to turn left. "She is basically a sister to me."

"Do you have a sister? Other than The Alice?" He asked and reached over to hold my hand.

I shook my head and just gave in. "I have a brother."

"Older or younger?"

"Older," I answered.

"Oh great, an older brother," he said with a laugh and gave my hand a squeeze.

"You know, I've told you all of this before," I teased and looked over at him.

"You did not," he argued but I kept nodding. "When was this?"

"The first day of class when we did that survey thing and you didn't pay any attention to me," I answered.

"Now see that is just a lie," he said with a laugh and pulled into the apartment complex I had pointed out. "It wasn't that I wasn't paying attention to you. I was just paying too much attention to parts of you that I shouldn't have."

I felt my mouth fall open. "What?" I asked loudly.

Edward laughed and shook his head as he pulled into a parking space. Instead of answering me he just decided to ask his own question, "What does your dad do?"

"I am not telling you," I said childishly and pulled my seatbelt off.

We were walking through the apartment courtyard when Edward stopped me. "If you tell me, I'll tell you what I meant in the car," he bargained.

I groaned but gave in. "He's the police chief in Forks," I muttered and laughed when I saw how Edward was looking at me. "What's wrong?"

"Your father is a cop? And you have an older brother?" He asked in a serious voice.

"Yes," I nodded and laughed when he sat down on a bench and leaned down so that his head was between his knees.

"Suddenly The Alice doesn't seem so scary," he muttered.

I pulled him back up and wrapped an arm around his waste while we continued walking.

"Oh no, trust me. Alice is way worse than my dad and brother," I reassured him.

He tried to weasel his way out of telling me what he had meant in the car, but as we were walking up the stairs he finally gave in.

"I'll give you a hint. It had a lot to do with this," he said quietly before slapping my ass. I turned around; looking shocked when he just shrugged his shoulders. "You're the one that asked."

Before I could say anything a door to the right of us opened and Alice stuck her head outside.

"Are you two coming? Or are you going to stay out here and flirt all night?" She asked before walking up to us. "You're Edward?" She looked Edward up and down and then smiled at me.

"Edward Cullen," he said politely before shaking Alice's hand. "And you're The Alice?"

"I am Alice," she nodded and shook his hand. "And just so you know, you break her heart I will break your jaw. Got it?" She asked while smiling innocently and batting her eyes.

"Alice!" I yelled and immediately apologized to Edward.

He nodded and smiled at her. "I got it."

"Good! Now come inside and meet Jasper. I have some margaritas ready…" She walked back inside, and I shook my head as she continued to rattle on about everything they had ready inside.

"I am so sorry Edward," I apologized again but he shook his head.

"I'm glad to know you have such a good friend," he reassured me and led me inside Jasper's apartment.

Alice behaved for the most part, although she did throw in a few embarrassing Bella stories, but it was Jasper and Edward that shocked me. It was like the two of them were long lost brothers or something. They hit it off immediately, and Alice and I had to pull them both away from Jasper's record collection so that we could eat.

"So you don't want to play music professionally?" Edward asked Jasper while we all sat around talking.

"I love playing," Jasper said but shook his head. "But, I think that as an artist you can be limited by what you can and can't creatively do, especially in today's music industry. I want to open a studio and produce. Just let artists come in and do what they want, play what they want, just let them be themselves you know? Have a place where they can totally uninhibited."

Alice smiled and winked at me.

"What about you?" Jasper asked and leaned back, draping one of his long arms around the back of Alice's chair. "Architecture, right?"

"Yeah," Edward nodded and played with his glass.

"Did you always want to do that?" Alice asked and I looked at Edward. I was curious about that myself.

"No, not always, I wanted to be a doctor for a long time," he said and leaned back in his chair.

"Like your dad?" I asked and he nodded. "So then why the change?"

"I honestly think I changed my mind just to annoy my mother," he said with a laugh and the rest of us joined in. "She really wanted me to be a doctor, but it was just in the last year or so I just realized it wasn't what I wanted. I like architecture; it's creating something that will last, something that could be a landmark someday. I mean imagine thirty years from now, having something you created still standing. And being able to show your children and grandchildren, telling them that was your idea."

I watched his face as he talked about the career that he had chosen to pursue, and even though he didn't look upset, I could just see that something about his demeanor had changed, like he was defensive about his choice. I reached over and held onto his hand and smiled when he looked at me. He squeezed my hand and smiled back.

"My mom wants me to be a Stepford wife," Alice said with an exasperated sigh. Edward and I looked at her. "We can be disappointments together Edward."

They all laughed, but I frowned and watched Edward, wondering if that was true. I wondered if his mother really would consider him a disappointment because he had chosen not to become a doctor.

Deciding to file that question away for another time, I started to help Alice clear the table. Jasper tried to stop me while Edward tried to help, and eventually there were just too many people in the small kitchen.

"Okay, anyone in this room with a penis needs to leave!" Alice yelled above the laughter and joking. I smiled and watched as Jasper tried to argue with her, but like always Alice won.

Thirty minutes later we had everything put up and I was glad that Alice had made the boys vacate the area. It had given us a chance to talk about Edward and it made me extremely relieved that she seemed to approve. I didn't need her, or anyone else's approval to date Edward. But I knew it would make things a lot easier on all of us if they didn't hate each other.

I was folding a dishtowel while Alice started the dishwasher when we heard a loud banging noise. I followed Alice into Jasper's bedroom and laughed when I saw Jasper throw a folding chair at what I assumed was the bathroom door.

"Uh. What the hell?" Alice asked, making Jasper jump from surprise.

"Edward's locked in the bathroom," Jasper explained and I laughed.

"Not funny Bella!" Edward yelled through the door.

"So why can't we just unlock it?" I asked the obvious and Alice nodded.

"These are old apartments, the lock is on the inside," Jasper explained and again I asked the obvious.

"So why can't Edward unlock it?"

"I've tried!" He yelled again and we all looked at the door then back to Jasper.

"You can still the lock with a button on the inside of the door," He explained while Alice and I stared at him. "I had it to where you couldn't even lock it, but I guess someone hit the button and now it's stilled in the lock position."

"Wait, inside the door?" Alice asked while looking confused.

"You know, by the latch," Jasper tried to explain but she wasn't getting it.

"You mean the little part that sticks out and then goes into a hole in the door frame part when you shut the door?" I asked, and when Jasper nodded Alice caught on.

She covered her mouth and her eyes got as wide as saucers.

"What?" Jasper and I both asked at the same time.

"I think I locked it," she whispered.

"What's happening?" Edward yelled again and Alice shook her head.

"I was cleaning before they got here and I decided to lemon oil the doors and I think I might have hit the little button thingy," she explained and I shook my head.

"You lemon oiled a door?" I asked and she glared at me.

"Out of this entire situation I don't think that me lemon oiling a door is what you should be focused on."

"Oil what?" Edward yelled and I couldn't help but laugh. "Bella, this is not funny!"

"Okay! Okay!" Alice yelled and everyone stopped talking. "How do we get the door off? Can you not kick it in?"

"I've already tried, that thing is heavy oak," Jasper explained and rubbed his shoulder.

"Jasper, why do you have a tambourine in your bathroom cabinet?" Edward asked, making Alice and I look at Jasper and then start laughing hysterically when he turned bright red.

"Well most people read…" I laughed and Alice tried to stop from laughing, but failed miserably.

Ignoring all of us, Jasper started looking at the door and trying to think of a way to get it open. An hour later Jasper and Edward had finally gotten the door off of the hinges. It had taken a lot of cuss words from the boys, and Alice and me several tries to throw a screw driver up to the tiny bathroom window so that Edward could unscrew his side. The tambourine wasn't mentioned the rest of the night.

Later that night I waited patiently while Edward walked around the car and opened the door for me. I let him help me out, and as we walked back up to my dorm I prayed that tonight would finally be the night, that hopefully Edward would finally just freaking kiss me!

"I had fun tonight," he said and I nodded as I walked up to the second step, just like always. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"We have to study tomorrow," I reminded him and he only groaned in response before pulling me into a hug. "You promised me I could have all day tomorrow to study. Our final is in two weeks, you know that don't you?"

I wrapped my arms around his waist and again prayed that tonight would be the night he would finally kiss me. I tried to be all flirty and nuzzled my face against his chest but it didn't work.

"No I know, but I promised my parents I would go to lunch with them. Some family friends are in town, and my mother is insisting that I go with them," he said before kissing the top of my head and letting me go.

_Again with the freaking head kissing._

"Oh, well I can come over later in the day, or we can do it Sunday," I offered as an alternative and tried not to look disappointed.

"Do you really think I want to go an entire day and not see you?" He asked before kissing my forehead and lacing his fingers between mine.

I snapped.

"Okay Edward, why the fuck won't you kiss me? We've been together for almost a month! I mean… if you're just stringing me along then tell me now because this is frustrating the shit out of me!" I yelled and pulled my hands out of his.

"Bella I told you…"

"You can't fake a kiss! Yeah I got it, but you know what? At this point I don't care if it's fake or not!" I interrupted him.

"Well I care," he said reasonably and ignored my exaggerated sigh. "Bella I promise you that I will kiss you. It won't be tonight and it might not be tomorrow night, but I promise you, when the time is right it will happen."

"I can't even have a peck?" I groaned and he shook his head.

Alice called it romantic, but as I once again headed up the stairs to our door with nothing more than a hug and a kiss on the cheek I was one hundred percent certain that Edward Cullen was a prude.

**You all know whats next! Happy New Year!**


	4. Love Me

**Yeah I don't own Twilight. Assward and all the crazy MIL stories are mine though.**

Three days! It had been three freaking days since I had seen Edward and I was starting to get anxious. He had called me Saturday, letting me know that dinner with his parents was taking longer than he had thought it would. I was okay with that. He called me three times Sunday, all three times telling me that he missed me. When I offered to come over, or inviting him to our dorm he came up with excuses. That's when I started getting annoyed. Monday came and went with no phone calls and no Edward. I was pissed. Tuesday, the day of our Chemistry class, I went to class and was livid when he never showed up.

So if I was so fucking mad, why was I standing outside his door? Why had I even agreed to come over here and study? Better yet, why the hell didn't Edward answer any of my questions when I asked him where the hell he was? When he opened the door and smiled at me I just glared at him. If Edward wanted this to end, then fine. But that didn't mean I had to make it easy on him.

"I know you're mad," he said quietly while following me through the front hallway. "You have every right to be."

I took my coat off and threw it over the back of the chair. After dropping my backpack on the floor, I turned around and looked at him.

"If you don't want to see me anymore that's fine, but you are my lab partner Edward! And half of my grade is depending on you to do your part in this damn assignment!" I said angrily.

"Why wouldn't I want to see you anymore?" he asked, ignoring my yelling.

"Why would you avoid me for three days?" I asked, instead of answering his question.

"I wasn't avoiding you Bella. My parents…" Edward said, shaking his head while looking at me. "I had to deal with some things. I wasn't purposefully avoiding you."

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him. "What did you have to deal with?" I asked bluntly. If he was lying, then I at least wanted to make him look like an idiot while coming up with an excuse.

He looked at me for a second and then sighed. "Do you remember when I told you that we had some family friends coming in?" I nodded and he continued. "Well, she is actually my ex-girlfriend. Her parents are my parents' best friends and as much as I tried to get out of it, I couldn't."

"So a dinner with your ex and her parents took you three days?" I asked, trying to beat back the jealously that was creeping through my body.

"No, but Tanya is already out of school for winter break and…" Edward started but then stopped. He sighed again and shook his head. "My mother thinks that Tanya and I will get back together, and apparently so did she."

"Oh," I said quietly and turned around and grabbed my coat.

"No Bella," Edward said, grabbing my coat of my hands and stopping me. "I have no interest in ever getting back together with her. My mother just had this idea in her head, and she can be very hard to deal with when she doesn't get her way."

"Well then how did you get out of it?" I asked, still a little pissed off and a whole lot of jealous.

"I told both of them that I had a girlfriend, and that I didn't want anyone else." He tentatively reached for my hands.

Ugh. Damn he was good. I sighed and tried not to smile when he gave me that damn silly grin. I let him hug me, and when he whispered that he was sorry I hugged him back. "Next time, you had better call me," I said against his shoulder and then smiled when he laughed.

"I promise there won't be a next time," he said before kissing my forehead.

Nearly two hours later we had his entire dining table covered in papers, notebooks and text books. I had started noticing how weird Edward was acting, but it wasn't until the last thirty minutes or so that it became annoying. He kept looking at me, and it wasn't just a normal look. He was practically staring at me. It was making me uncomfortable, and every time I asked him what he was doing he would tell me nothing and go back to his work. A few minutes later we would start the whole thing all over again.

"Edward you're starting to annoy me," I said without looking up from my book. "If something is bothering you just spit it out already."

"Sorry," he muttered. He threw his pen down onto the table and ran his hands through his hair nervously. "I'm just distracted."

"Do I need to leave?" I asked sarcastically, looking up at him and smiling.

He smiled back before reaching across the table and holding onto my hand. "Please don't."

"Why don't we take a break," I suggested.

"Piano?" He asked.

I nodded and followed him over to it. I listened as he played songs that I had heard before, a few he knew were my favorites. When he started playing something that I hadn't heard before I smiled.

"You've never played this for me before have you?" I asked quietly while watching his fingers move over the keys.

"No," he answered and I noticed he seemed a little off, like he was nervous about something.

I wrote it off to him playing a new piece and leaned my head against his shoulder while he played. I closed my eyes and just listened to the harmony that floated around us.

"The guy that composed this, wrote it for a woman he was in love with," Edward said quietly. I looked up at him and he smiled, watching me for a second then glancing back down at the keys. "He had pretty much known from the first day he met her that he loved her, but was too scared to tell her."

I smiled at the sentiment and sat up to hear the rest.

"So he decided to write her something that he hoped would express how much she meant to him. Something that whenever she heard it, she would know that he had written it just for her. Just to show her how much he loved her," he said quietly.

"And did they live happily ever after?" I asked while smiling at the way he was looking at me.

"I don't know," he said after a second. "That's up to you."

I laughed. "And why is that up to me?"

His fingers stopped and he turned on the piano bench to face me. His eyes were such a bright green that it made it difficult not to stare at them. His smile was the same crooked smile that made it impossible not to smile back.

"It's up to you, because it's your song," Edward said while his hand curved around my neck and his thumb traced over my cheek. "I wrote it for you."

I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. My eyes widen as I stared up at him. My cheeks were burning and I was suddenly very dizzy. Did he really just say what I think he said?

"What?" I asked dumbly.

Edward smiled and laughed softly. "I love you Bella."

I felt all of the air in my lungs leave and blinked slowly while I watched him looking at me. Could this be real? I mean… I knew I loved Edward but was there really a way that he would feel the same way about me? I figured that I was lucky enough that he would just want to date me and maybe hang out sometimes, but for him to actually love me back was something totally different. I tried to blink back the tears that were filling my eyes, but I couldn't. Before I could help myself, I was crying.

"Bella what's wrong?" Edward asked while wiping the tears off of my cheeks.

"I… I love you…" I cried pathetically.

He laughed quietly before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to him and asked, "Is it that bad?"

"I'm sorry," I muttered and wiped my eyes. "You… you wrote me a song and it was so beautiful and now I'm ruining everything by crying like an idiot."

"Do you understand now why I wasn't around for a few days?" he asked while rubbing my back. I looked up at him and he smiled. "I've wanted to tell you but I just wasn't sure if you would even want me to say it. And then when I was telling my parents about you I just… I knew. I knew I loved you and knew I had to tell you, even if you didn't feel the same way."

"That's what you were doing?" I sat up and looked at him. "Writing this song?"

"All day Sunday and yesterday," Edward replied, nodding.

"I love you Edward," I said after taking a deep breath and trying really hard to not start crying again.

He smiled and wiped the last stray tear off of my cheek. "I love you too."

The two of us sat there, smiling like idiots and staring at each other. It was a perfect moment, or it was until I opened my opened my mouth.

"So are you going to kiss me now? Or do I still have to wait?" I blurted out.

"I was going to and then you started crying," Edward said as he laughed and leaned into me.

I smiled when his hand curved around my neck. My head leaned back while Edward's other hand traced over my jaw and neck. My eyes closed as his fingers threaded into the back of my hair. I felt his breath fan over my face, and then finally felt his lips against mine.

There were no words. Nothing that I could think or say that would explain how fucking fantastic this kiss was. Not even caring about embarrassing myself, I threw myself into it. The second his tongue touched my lips I moaned and leaned into him, wanting to get closer. That wouldn't have been so bad if we hadn't been sitting on a piano bench. Edward laughed as we fell backwards, but the second we hit the ground my lips found his again.

"This is going to make class difficult," I mumbled against his lips. "All of the hours we've spent studying was wasted."

"Why?" Edward asked. I smiled as he rolled me over onto my back and his lips softly kissed mine.

"Because in stead of thinking about compound theories, all I'm going to be able to think about is this," I explained with a dramatic sigh. Edward laughed, but stopped when I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back down to me.

** *** **

"Are you nervous?"

I shook my head at Alice and kept digging through my closet.

"Meeting the parents is a big deal," she said quietly. "Especially since you've never technically had a boyfriend before…"

"Alice you aren't helping," I sighed.

Was I nervous about meeting Edward's parents? Yes. Did I need to sit and obsesses about it with Alice? No. All it would do would make me more agitated than I already was. I knew that meeting his parents was inevitable, but I had at least hoped that it would be after finals. No such luck. Two more days left of classes, and Edward was picking me up in twenty minutes.

"Just be yourself. They will love you," Alice said encouragingly.

I snorted because being myself would mean being sarcastic and saying inappropriate things at the worst possible times. Edward might have found those little traits of mine endearing; I doubted that his parents would. Being myself definitely wasn't an option tonight. Tonight I would be the Forks Bella. I would be the police chief's daughter, who seemed straight laced and perfect. It was the safest card to play.

"You look beautiful," Edward complimented me when he picked me up. He must have known that I was full of nerves, because he was laying it on pretty thick. Not that I was complaining. It made me feel better when he held my hand, or leaned in to give me a quick kiss.

We were sitting at a table in some restaurant with a name that I couldn't even pronounce, waiting on his parents. My stomach was churning uncomfortably and I internally freaked out anytime someone even got remotely close to our table. I had seen a couple of pictures of Edward's parents, but I probably couldn't pick them out in a crowd.

""Bella," Edward said quietly. I looked over at him and he smiled before picking my hand up and lacing his fingers between mine. "You're worried about nothing. They will love you, just like I do."

"Aww," I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "You're just saying that to make me feel better, but it's cute."

He laughed and shook his head. "Bella I…"

"Edward," a deep and calming voice interrupted him. I looked up to see a man smiling at both of us.

"Dad," Edward smiled and stood up to shake his hand. I quickly stood up to join him, and in the process almost knocked my chair over backwards. Thankfully, Edward caught it and put an arm around my waist to calm me down. "Dad this is…"

"Edward!" A woman practically ran up to him and hugged him. I moved to the side so that I wouldn't be knocked over and smiled when his father gave me an apologetic smile.

"I'm assuming you're Bella?" He asked and reached out for my hand.

I nodded timidly, but shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Cullen… I mean… Dr. Cullen. I'm sorry…"

He laughed the same laugh as Edward and shook his head. "Just call me Carlisle." I nodded and he motioned to the woman standing to next to him. She had finally let go of Edward and was straightening his shirt while Edward pushed her hands away. "This is my wife, Esme."

When Edward's mother looked at me, I didn't get the same easy going feelings that I had gotten from Carlisle. She might have been smiling and telling me that it was nice to meet me, but I didn't believe for a second that she meant it. The way she was looking at me made me feel like she was trying to find flaws.

We all sat back down and I immediately grabbed onto Edward's hand under the table. I must have put a little too much force into it because he winced and pulled his hand away. I mouthed an apology and gently took his hand back in mine.

The four of us made polite conversation until the waiter came and took our order, after which Carlisle turned to me and smiled. "So Bella, tell us about yourself."

I immediately felt my face break out into a flaming red blush and looked at Edward. "Um…" He gave my hand an encouraging squeeze and smiled. "I'm… from Forks, which is like… two hours away."

His father nodded while Esme just looked at me.

"I um… I like to read, I'm an English major, with a minor in journalism. My favorite color is green… and I'm allergic to celery," I finished lamely. _What the hell was wrong with me?_ God his parent's were going to think I was some sort of socially retarded moron.

"I'm allergic to strawberries," Carlisle shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "Food allergies are not to be taken lightly."

"My friend Alice is allergic to shellfish. If she eats it, someone has to stab her in the ass with an Epipen," I blurted out and then immediately regretted it. _THINK BEFORE SPEAKING BELLA, _I yelled at myself and quietly apologized while Edward and his father laughed.

"And your family?" Esme interrupted.

"Oh… my mom is the high school guidance counselor and my father is the Forks police chief," I said quietly. "I have an older brother; he's a football coach at Franklin High School." She had only asked me one question, but it felt like the Spanish inquisition.

Thankfully Carlisle changed the topic, and everyone got distracted by childhood stories of Edward. Even Esme had joined in and I smiled, trying to imagine the Edward I knew, acting the way that his parents were describing.

"So there we are, at this ultra formal wedding, and Edward is being the ideal ring bearer. He was so well behaved and not squirming around like his cousins. Until he saw the pulpit had an extra microphone that wasn't being used," Carlisle explained. I smiled and looked at Edward who was shaking his head.

"He walks up to the pulpit and stands on the shelf under it so he could reach the microphone, and he says 'we're going to sing now!' and then starts singing _I Wanna Hold Your Hand_ from The Beatles," Carlisle said and we all laughed.

"At least it was a good song," Edward shrugged, and winked at me. "And, I was six. Give me a break."

"Still old enough to know better," Esme kidded him.

"And still young enough to get away with it," I added.

"Why don't you share an embarrassing childhood story about yourself? Hmm?" Edward asked me. I shook my head as his arm draped across the back of my chair. "Oh come on."

"We can save that for when you meet my parents," I told him.

"And when will that be?" Carlisle asked with polite interest.

I looked at Edward and then shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not sure… I mean, I'm going home after finals… maybe…"

"Edward is not missing Christmas with _his_ family," his mother snapped.

"I wasn't… I mean… I wouldn't ever ask Edward to do that," I explained sheepishly. "I was just saying that maybe some time during break he could drive up."

I saw Edward giving his mother an annoyed look before the waiter delivering our food interrupted us. I ate and listened while Edward and his father carried on the majority of the conversation. Esme probably hadn't said ten words since the childhood stories of Edward had ended, and she surprised me when she jumped back into the conversation when Carlise asked about Edward's piano.

"I can't wait till Christmas Eve Edward, to get to hear you play," she smiled and looked at him. "You know I should call Tanya and see if she would like to bring over her violin. The two of you could play together."

"Tanya hasn't played the violin since seventh grade mother," Edward shook his head.

_So they spent Christmas together?_ I looked at Edward and then back down at my plate, trying to fight back the bit of jealously that was bubbling in my stomach. He had said they were all family friends, I guess I just didn't realize how "good" of friends they were.

"Still, she was a very accomplished musician. I think that's an important quality in a young woman. Do you play anything Bella?" She asked sweetly.

"No ma'am," I answered politely. "I'm not musically inclined."

"That's a pity," Esme shrugged. "I always find that it is refreshing to meet a young woman who is well learned."

I ground my teeth together and tried not to get upset. His mother probably hadn't meant to take a shot at me, but the longer I sat here and put up with her rude comments and judgmental looks, the more inadequate I felt.

"Bella, you said you liked to read?" Carlisle asked. I nodded and he smiled. "What do you read?"

"I'll read anything really, I'm not very picky. But, I like the classics. I think there is a lot to be said about a book that has kept readers attention for hundreds of years."

Carlisle nodded and smiled. "Okay, what's your favorite book?"

I laughed and smiled when Edward joined me. We had spent at least four hours talking about this the other night. It consisted of me saying I couldn't just pick one, him telling me to narrow it down to the top five, and then a three hour conversation of how unfair it was to ask me to do that.

"If I can only pick one, I would say Alice in Wonderland," I nodded and then shook my head. "No… The Secret Garden. Or… See I can't just pick one."

Everyone at the table laughed except Esme, who just watched me with a displeasing look in her eyes. Maybe she was just having a bad night. Maybe she just didn't think my sense of humor was amusing. Or, maybe she was just a bitch.

I thought back to the conversation that we had had at Jasper's apartment, about Edward choosing a different profession just to make his mother mad. At the time I didn't understand if he had just been joking, but now that I had met Esme I could see it being a reality.

I didn't doubt that she loved her son but there was something there, just under the surface that didn't seem normal. Maybe she had OCD or control issues. Either way, it was plain to see that Esme had a strong opinion in all things regarding Edward's life, and I really didn't think her opinion of me was favorable.

After dinner, Edward and I drove around looking at Christmas lights. It wasn't something that I was a big fan of, but I quickly realized that Christmas was like crack to Edward. He got all excited and jittery just talking about outside decorations, so I just sat there and let him talk. I smiled and laughed when he got a little too excited, but I was distracted.

Edward had mentioned Tanya before and I knew that they had dated in high school. I knew that his mother had thought that the two of them would get back together. I guess it sort of blind sided me to realize how close they actually were.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked quietly.

"Sure," Edward nodded.

"Tanya," I said hesitantly. He briefly looked at me before looking back at the road. "Is she… I mean...are you guys close?"

Edward shook his head and looked back at me. "We used to be. She was my best friend growing up. But, I think the older I got, the more I realized that we wanted different things. I actually tried to break up with her the summer before our senior year, but she kind of freaked out. So we stayed together through high school, but I knew that it wasn't what I wanted."

"But she thought the two of you would get back together?" I asked quietly.

Edward pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned in his seat to look at me. "You don't have to be jealous. You know that, right?" I shrugged my shoulders, feeling guilty for even bringing it up. Edward reached out and gently took my hand. "Bella, I didn't love Tanya like I love you. She… it was just the natural thing for us to date when we were younger. But I never had feelings for her like I do for you."

I nodded and held his hand in my lap.

"She's still a good friend, I guess she always will be, but it won't ever go past that. I can't see myself being with her for the rest of my life," Edward said and squeezed my hand.

When I didn't say anything, he let go of my hand and ran his fingers under my chin. He smiled when I looked at him, and it was hard not to smile back.

"Say something, Bella."

"I love you," I whispered quietly.

He smiled and leaned over the console and brushed his lips against mine. "I love you more."

**A/N: And cue Bitchsme. Were getting to the good stuff! Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing!! I'm sorry for the slow update; I have been cheating on Assward with Selfishward from The Groupie. I will try to update more often. P.S. Thanks Maggie  
**


	5. When in Forks

**I don't own Twilight… blah blah**

"Mother, please stop!" I begged for at least the twentieth time.

For the past thirty minutes she kept migrating back to the front window. She would try to pull the curtains back without anyone knowing and look into the front yard. My mother thought she was fooling us when she said she was just fixing the curtain, but we all knew she was lying. She was looking for the first sign of Edward's car pulling onto our street.

"I'm not doing anything wrong!" she said defensively.

I groaned and threw my head back against the couch. My brother laughed but kept flipping through the TV channels. I threw a pillow at him.

"It isn't my fault you were stupid enough to invite your boyfriend home," he muttered and tossed the pillow back at me. "Especially at Christmas, that's the worst time for someone to meet the parents."

I rolled my eyes, but otherwise ignored him. I hadn't originally planned on Edward coming during Christmas break, but he kept asking about my family and I had already met his. I just wanted to get it over with. Plus Alice and Emmett were back home too; if it got too bad then at least I had reinforcements.

The phone rang, and before I could even get off of the couch, my mother had run into the kitchen to get it.

"Swan residence," she said in a fake sing-song voice. "Oh. Yeah, hold on a second."

I laughed when she unceremoniously threw the phone at me after telling me it was Alice.

"What's the deal with Renee?" Alice asked once I answered.

I sighed and muttered, "She's waiting on Edward to get here. I can't get her to move away from the front window."

"Heard that!" my mother yelled from the kitchen.

Emmett laughed and I kicked his leg. "How are things over there?"

"Oh everyone loves Jasper," she said happily. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes.

Since Jasper's family lived in Texas and it wasn't really feasible for him to go to back for Christmas since he had just gone at Thanksgiving, Alice had invited him to her house. Their perfectness was a little much at times.

"So are we going tonight?" Alice asked, interrupting my grumbling.

"I dunno, Alice," I muttered, looking at Emmett. "I don't know if I want to subject Edward to so much on his first visit. Meeting my family is enough."

Emmett flipped me off and I smiled.

"Bella, come on," Alice sighed. "Everyone goes, it's like a tradition!"

I silently wondered why Alice was all of a sudden so interested in holding up Forks traditions, especially when it involved seeing people from high school who we didn't even like. After you graduated, it was tradition for everyone to meet up at Monroe's during the holidays. It was one of the only bars in Forks, and the only one that allowed under twenty-ones.

"Is Emmett going?" Alice interrupted my thoughts again.

"Em, are you going to Monroe's?" I asked my brother.

He nodded, "Are you guys going?"

I shrugged and was about to ask Alice something, but heard my mother start yelling from the front room. Groaning, I pushed away from the couch. "Alice, Edward's here. I'll call you later."

"Call me if you need help!" she laughed and I hung up.

I was standing up when Emmett pushed me back down and ran to the front door. I yelled at him even though it didn't do any good, and made my way after him. My mother was standing in front of the window with the curtains held back, smiling and babbling. My brother opened the front door and stood there with his arms crossed. I assumed he was trying to be intimidating, but he just came off as a jackass. I pushed my way passed him and walked towards Edward's car.

He got out of the car looking annoyingly perfect, and smiled my favorite smile. Edward caught me when I nearly slipped on the icy sidewalk and I silently thanked him by hugging him as tightly as I could.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a laugh.

I nodded against his shoulder and kissed his neck. "Just promise me you won't break up with me because my family is so insane, please."

"Bella," he sighed, slowly pulling away from me. "I'm sure it will be fine."

"You kids will catch your death out in that cold!" my mother yelled from the front door.

Edward laughed and gave me a quick kiss before towing me after him toward the front door. Had I been stronger, I would have pulled him back into the car, but instead I followed him up the sidewalk and back inside of my parents' house.

***** ** *****

"Ha! Jackass!" Emmett yelled from the living room.

My head peaked around the corner as I dried the last few dishes from lunch, and I watched my brother and Edward playing some video game. They were both laughing and carrying on, acting like they had known each other for years rather than just a few hours.

It was odd to see this side of Edward. It sort of reminded me of how he had acted before we'd gotten together, but not as extreme. He seemed a little immature and maybe a little obnoxious, all while still being the Edward that I had grown to know. It was… different, but not in a bad way.

Lunch hadn't been as horrible as I originally thought. Since my father was working, Emmett had played the protector role and did his best to intimidate Edward. It didn't work. Edward was polite and honest, answering every question my brother and mother fired at him. It hadn't even taken ten minutes before my mother was sold on him. Emmett finally let his guard drop when Edward mentioned something about UW's football and baseball team. After that, it seemed like they were best friends and I had been shoved aside so my brother could entertain my boyfriend. They went into the living room to play games and I got dragged into the kitchen to help clean up lunch.

"He's cute," my mother said quietly. I nodded and kept drying the bowl in my hand. "Are you… being safe? You know, sexually?"

The bowl I was holding fell from my hands and landed with a crash onto the floor where it shattered. All I could do was stand there and gape at my mother.

"What happened?" Emmett yelled from the living room.

"Bella dropped a bowl," my mother answered him. She was smirking, freaking smirking, while continuing to wash the plate in her hand. After Emmett muttered something about it figuring that I would break something, my mother continued her questioning.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Bella. I do this for a living," she said quietly.

"You're a guidance counselor, mom," I muttered. I shook my head and picked up the pieces of broken ceramic.

"I just--" she started, but stopped when Edward appeared in the doorway.

He leaned down to help me pick up the last few pieces and I smiled when he leaned in to kiss my cheek.

"Are you okay?" Edward's voice was a soft whisper.

I nodded and threw my handful of ceramic into the trash can. "Just clumsy," I mumbled.

Edward smiled, but kept helping me. Once all of the pieces were picked up, he kissed my forehead and went back to Emmett and their game. I grabbed the broom from the laundry room and started sweeping up the tiny pieces we had missed. My mother stood there and watched me, still smirking.

"No, Mother. We aren't at that… stage… yet," I snapped in a harsh whisper.

She nodded and turned back to the sink. "Just… be careful," my mother warned. Her voice held way too much sarcasm in it to be taken seriously. I finished drying the dishes and quickly made my escape, sitting next to Edward and watching as he and my brother blew up zombies.

It was a few hours before my father came home. It didn't escape my attention that he left his gun on when he joined us in the living room. I gave him a look of annoyance, but he just smiled and turned to face my boyfriend.

"You're Edward?" he asked, using his serious cop voice.

Edward had already stood up and was shaking my father's hand. "Yes sir. It's nice to meet you."

My dad nodded, eyeing Edward with suspicion. "Edward Cullen, born June 20th 1981? Drivers license number 58935214?"

"Yes?" My boyfriend answered hesitantly.

"Hmm." That was the only response my father gave.

"Relax Pops, he's cool," Emmett interceded.

Edward looked a little unnerved until my father laughed and jokingly hit his shoulder. "I'm just messing with you kid. Welcome to Forks."

I groaned and shook my head while everyone else laughed. The next few hours were spent with my family bringing up embarrassing stories, pictures, and even video footage of my childhood. I was utterly humiliated and by the time Alice called to see if we were going to Monroe's, I all but screamed "yes" into the phone.

"You kids behave!" My father yelled from the front porch. "Emmett, that means you too!"

We all agreed to be safe and the three of us crawled into Edward's car.

Monroe's parking lot was already full when we got there and my stomach tightened uncomfortably. I hadn't seen most of these people since we'd graduated and had been planning on keeping it that way for as long as possible. When I saw Alice and Jasper leaning against his truck, I felt marginally better.

"Is that Alice's boyfriend?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah. Jasper's from Texas originally," I explained.

"Mmm," my brother grunted. "Is he a good guy? He looks a little… intense."

I nodded and started to tell him yes, but Edward beat me to it.

"Jasper's a really good guy. We've hung out a few times."

"You have?" I asked him. It surprised me that I didn't know this bit of information. Edward laughed but nodded, pulling into a parking space.

Once the car stopped, Emmett bolted from the car and immediately started making his way towards the front door. Edward helped me out of the backseat and held my hand as we walked towards Alice and Jasper.

"I see you survived the Charlie Swan experience," Alice teased Edward.

"It wasn't too bad," Edward shrugged. "And it was definitely worth it."

My face blushed as his arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me closer to his side.

"Ready to go?" Alice asked, nodding her head towards the bar.

"Do I have to?" I muttered to myself. I was sure that no one else had heard me until Edward's arm tightened around me. I looked up and he gave me an encouraging smile, towing me along behind our friends.

As expected, the place was packed. It was loud and smoky, with hardly enough room to walk without bumping into someone. Emmett had already found his friends and had drink in his hand. He nodded when we walked in but otherwise ignored us. Edward followed behind Alice and Jasper, holding tightly onto my hand and leading be through the crowd.

People were watching the four of us… or more specifically watching Jasper and Edward. Forks was a small enough town that anyone new was a novelty. The attention didn't seem to bother any of the rest of them, but it was making me a little paranoid. Once we reached the back corner of the bar, I tried to hide behind Edward's shoulder, holding on to his hands.

"Do you want a drink?" Jasper yelled over the noise. He was the only one in our group that was legally able to drink, therefore he offered to buy the drinks for us. I knew that Alice and I would get busted if we even tried to get something, so I declined. Edward however agreed to go to the bar with Jasper and gave me a quick kiss before leaving me with Alice. My eyes bounced around the room as I fidgeted with the cardboard coaster that sat on the table. Alice snorted next to me, making me look at her.

"What?" I asked, nudging her arm when she didn't hear me. "What are you laughing at?"

She pointed at a group of girls standing next to the Jasper and Edward. They were leaning into them, obviously trying to get their attention, and failing miserably. They looked about our age, but I couldn't seem to remember who they were.

"Who is that?" I asked loudly.

"I don't know the other two but the two blondes are Jessica Stanley and Jane Hightower," Alice yelled back. Her voice hardly carried over the music.

I looked at her, completely shocked, and then stared back at the group of girls. They both looked entirely different. It took several minutes of staring at them until it finally hit me. Jessica and Jane both had had plastic surgery! Their noses and chins looked nothing like they had when we were in high school; neither did their boobs for that matter.

"They look plastic!" Alice laughed.

"Well, I'm sure the majority of their face and chest are!" I yelled back.

We both started laughing, but I stopped when I saw Jessica leaning so far into Edward that her chest was practically in his lap. It annoyed me that his back was toward me, because I really wished I could have seen his face. I watched as he took Jessica's shoulders and physically moved her away from him. She looked shocked while Jasper and Edward both made their way through the crowd of people, back to Alice and me.

Jessica and Jane, along with their friends, watched as the boys walked away. When Edward was within my reach, I grabbed onto his hands and pulled him towards me. I jumped when his cold beer bottle made contact with my back, as his arms wrapped around me, but smiled when his lips found my neck.

"You aren't jealous are you?" Edward said against my ear. I shook my head but pulled him closer to me. "Good, because the whole Malibu Barbie look isn't appealing to me."

I laughed and leaned back to look at him. "And exactly what is appealing to you?"

Edward's crooked smile made my heart skip a beat. He ran the tip of his finger down the bridge of my nose before kissing me gently. His lips kissed across my jaw to my ear, where he sucked my earlobe between his lips.

"You," he whispered, holding onto to me tighter.

I shivered, but it had nothing to do with the bottle resting against my back. It always threw me for a loop when Edward acted like this toward me. It was like we were walking the very fine line between being innocently sweet and not so innocently hot. His lips would be gentle and chaste, while his hands and fingers would be domineering and teasing. It was always a contradiction.

"You didn't get carded?" Alice asked Edward. The interruption broke whatever spell I had been under and I shook my head slightly, trying to come back to reality.

"Do I look nineteen?" Edward asked her instead of answering.

"Good point," Alice nodded. Her eyes narrowed for a second before she smiled. "You have a fake ID!"

Edward's jaw dropped and he looked back at me. "How does she…"

I shrugged while Alice giggled. "Annoying isn't it? Try dealing with that for like ten years… I can't ever lie to her."

Jasper whispered something in Alice's ear that made her cheeks flush before kissing her cheek and looking at Edward. "Wanna play pool?"

Edward looked at me and I nodded, telling him it was fine for him to go. Alice and I sat on the stools near the pool table and watched as they maneuvered their way around it. My best friend's face continued to stay a pretty pink color and I couldn't help but wonder what Jasper had told her. But then again, I probably wouldn't want to know anyway. At times the emotions flowing between the two of them were strong enough that even I could pick up on it. The way they looked at each other, like they could have entire conversations without ever speaking a word, was annoyingly cute. But it was also awkward when their feelings got more passionate… awkward for me anyway because I couldn't even think about sex without blushing ten different shades of red.

Edward knew that I wasn't experienced, just like I knew that he was. We promised each other that we wouldn't rush into anything, but it seemed like it was getting harder and harder to stop ourselves. The kissing had eventually led to touching and touching would lead to rubbing… all while still being fully clothed.

It wasn't that I didn't want to, because I most definitely did! But we are only nineteen and sex was scary. How do you trust someone enough to let yourself be that vulnerable with them? How do you lay every imperfection, every piece of yourself out there hoping they won't reject you? Are we ready for something like that? It would change the dynamic of our relationship; I knew that, I just didn't know if I wanted it to change… yet. Alice had confessed that she and Jasper had slept together and it made me feel like we needed to hurry to catch up to them, even though Edward assured me that we didn't.

I was like an anomaly in our generation, a nineteen year old virgin. It wasn't necessarily that I was waiting until I got married; I was just waiting until it was right. But, even with the best of intentions, it made me feel like some sort of freak show. I knew it was ridiculous, but I felt like people could look at me and tell that I was inexperienced. The fact that I blushed anytime Edward even looked at me didn't help. In fact my cheeks were probably flaming red right now just from thinking about the idea of Edward and I like that.

"Oh hell," Alice mumbled.

Her tone of voice made me shut off the NC-17 rated movie starring Edward and me and turn toward her. She looked annoyed and maybe a little amused so I followed her eye line to the front door.

Standing in the doorway was the one guy in Forks who I had been stupid enough to try and get to date me in high school. James, who was by all accounts a complete asshole, was entirely out of my league according to Forks High School standards. We had had a couple of classes together and I was naïve enough to think that he was my friend. When we started hanging out at the diner after school and sometimes on the weekends, I believed that that meant he liked me. I was wrong. All he had been interested in was getting into my pants as part of a bet. When I found out about said bet, I gave James a black eye which ended up breaking my hand. It also led to him telling the entire student body that I was a cock tease. It really was the icing on the cake of my senior year.

"SHIT!" I whispered loudly. In an act of self preservation, and stupidity, I flew off of the stool and hid behind Alice. It wasn't one of my better plans because anyone who knew Alice knew that I wouldn't be far away from where she was. "What is he doing here?"

"I thought his family moved." Alice said, ignoring my question. "And… he just saw me."

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I whispered harshly.

"Are you okay?" Edward's voice asked from behind me. I shot up, then remembered why I was hiding, and kneeled back down. His eyebrows pulled together as he looked at Alice and then back to me. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I lied.

Edward didn't buy it so he turned to look at Alice.

She rolled her eyes before answering him. "This guy that Bella liked… Oh hell, he's coming over here."

Edward watched as he walked closer to us. Alice crossed her arms across her chest and glared at James while I stayed frozen, crouched behind my best friend.

"Hey Alice," James said casually. She didn't say anything, but that didn't stop him from looking over her shoulder at me. "You aren't hiding from me, are you Bella?"

I groaned and slowly stood up as he laughed. I briefly looked up at him, hating the sneer on his face.

"Did you find your necklace?" Edward asked, interrupting James.

Shaking my head, I played along. "No."

"I'm sorry," Edward said. His voice was a seductive whisper that made my heart flutter. My eyes widened as his fingertips trailed over my collarbone before he leaned forward and kissed me. This wasn't one of the innocent sweet kisses. It was a full fledge panty melting, knee weakening, heart stopping kiss. Alice giggled when Edward finally let me go, and I swayed slightly.

James said something that I missed, but had obviously asked who Edward was.

"Edward Cullen, I'm Bella's boyfriend," he answered smugly.

"And I'm Jasper Whitlock," Jasper interrupted. He leaned over Alice shoving his hand at James. "I'm Alice's boyfriend and you're James. She told me all about you."

I blinked and looked at Alice and then Jasper, wondering what the hell she had told him.

"Oh yeah?" James asked, his voice icy.

Jasper nodded and looked at Edward. "Remember Edward? He's the one that couldn't…well… you know. I hate to say it in polite company."

Thoroughly confused I looked back at James and smiled when I saw that he was a nice color of purple. Alice snorted and turned around on her stool to face me.

"Come on, I need to use the restroom." She hopped down and grabbed my hand.

I followed behind her, glancing over my shoulder to watch Edward talking to James, although it seemed more like threatening than actually talking. Once we reached the bathroom, Alice said something about puking and everyone that was in there cleared out. With a satisfied smile, she shut the door and locked it.

"Exactly what did you tell Jasper about James?" I asked Alice.

"Don't worry about it."

"Alice Brandon," I growled, trying to be intimidating.

My best friend sighed dramatically before turning away from the mirror and facing me. "He was asking me about kids that we went to school with and James came up. I just told him about the fact that he didn't last more than three minutes while having sex. I also might have mentioned that James has a small package. That's it."

"How the hell do you even know that?!" I asked loudly. My voice echoed around the bathroom.

"James dated Lindsay Masterson, who was in my art class. When he started talking shit about you, I got the dirt on him from her. Then I cornered him and threatened to share my newly found secrets with the entire school if he didn't keep his mouth shut and leave you the hell alone."

I stared at Alice and shook my head. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"It just never came up," she said with a shrug. I watched as she finished applying her lip gloss before tossing me the small tube. "You could use a little touch up."

Alice winked before pulling the bathroom door open and walking back into the bar. I sighed before looking in the mirror. As always, she was right. I reapplied the gloss she'd given me and slipped the tube in my pocket before following her out the door.

I hadn't made it ten feet when a familiar set of arms wrapped their way around my waist. Edward's lips were on my neck before I could even turn around, so I leaned back against him, letting his lips explore all they wanted to.

"You aren't jealous are you?" I asked, mimicking his voice from earlier.

Edward turned me around so that I was facing him before shaking his head. "No. I know what's mine."

"And what's yours?" I teased him. I hadn't ever really seen the possessive side of Edward before, but it was awfully sexy. His forehead leaned against mine as his hands slipped into the back pockets of my jeans, pushing me against him.

"You are mine," his said in a deep whisper.

I nodded, knowing that if I tried to say anything my voice would fail me. Edward smiled before kissing me briefly and leading me back to the table Alice and Jasper were sitting at. The rest of the night I ignored the curious or doubtful stares of my former classmates, choosing instead to get lost in an intense gaze with a pair of green eyes.

*** ** ***

Emmett was unsurprisingly drunk, and Edward had to basically carry him inside. They bumped into furniture while trying to maneuver through the house but eventually made it into Emmett's bedroom. Edward unceremoniously dumped my brother on his bed before I threw a blanket over him.

"God!" Edward groaned quietly. "Your brother is like a freaking bull or something!"

I laughed and shut the door to Emmett's room as Edward rolled his shoulders backward. "Trust me, I know. Alice and I used to have to do this every Saturday night. He's lucky that our parent's room is on the other side of the house."

Edward laughed and we quietly walked down the hallway toward my bedroom and the guest room, which were across the hall from each other. I smiled nervously, leaning against my door frame while Edward dropped his keys and wallet onto the dresser that was just inside the door of his room.

"Are you tired?" I asked nervously.

He raised an eyebrow at me, but shook his head. "No."

"Me either."

Edward smiled my favorite smile before reaching past my hip to grab a hold of the doorknob to my room. He pushed the door open, leaning into me and making me take a step backwards. Once we were both inside he quietly shut the door.

I didn't give myself a chance to think before I grabbed onto his hands and pulled him towards the bed. I nervously lay down, rolling onto my side when he got on the bed next to me. He let go of my hand to run his fingers up my leg and over my hip, stopping at the small part of skin that wasn't covered by my shirt or jeans. My breathing became obnoxiously loud as his fingers tentatively slipped under the back of my shirt and his lips connected with the sensitive skin on the side of my neck.

In a rush and with shaking hands I pulled my shirt over my head. Edward's lips immediately moved back to my neck, then my shoulder, and eventually my chest. I rolled over onto my back, letting Edward move so that his body was partially covering mine. His hands moved down my sides and eventually found my hips and as his fingers tightened around them, I groaned and pushed up against him. Edward's movements stopped.

"Bella," his voice sounded like a warning.

"No," I muttered, knowing full well that he was going to stop me.

"We're at your parents' house," he whispered against my skin. "And your dad has a gun."

I giggled and he rolled me onto my side and moved behind me, spooning himself to me. The two of us laid there and shared a whispered conversation that lead to me laughing a little too loudly. He shushed me before hiding his face in my neck and laughing with me.

"Edward," I said softly once our laughter had stopped.

"Hmm?"

I shivered as his fingers drew circles on my stomach while his lips kissed the back of my shoulder. My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest and I was suddenly immensely glad for the fact that he hadn't turned the light on. I knew I had to be beat red.

"If we… I mean…" I took a deep breath and tried to speak coherently. He laughed quietly which made me smile. "If we were in Seattle, would you have stopped me?" I finally managed to ask.

Edward took a second to answer, but when he did it was in a seductively dark whisper. With his face buried in the back of my hair and his hand pulling me back against him he shook his head. "No. I wouldn't have stopped you."

Letting his words wash away any uncertainty that I'd had before, I turned over, pushing Edward onto his back and straddled his lap. He tried to tell me to stop, but when his hands ran up my thighs and onto my hips, I figured he didn't really mean it.

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but I figured it felt good to me then it probably felt good to him. My hips started moving against him while I leaned forward and held on to the head board of my bed.

"God," Edward moaned quietly. His grip tightened around my hips.

"I… don't know… if this is… good," I panted. He nodded quickly and bit his lip. His hips pushed up against mine and a low guttural moan left my mouth.

"Baby, shh," Edward warned. "I really, _really_, don't want you to stop but I also don't want your dad showing up in here."

I promised I would be quiet and bit my lip, hoping it would keep me from waking everyone up. Trying to concentrate on what I was doing, my eyes closed and I leaned over him. It felt… so, _so_ right, but wrong at the same time. The way my quiet moans mixed with Edward's, the way his hips fit perfectly between my thighs, and especially the way he felt underneath me… God, it was so right. But I hated the way that I couldn't actually feel him. It was like there was a hollow aching that could only be filled by him and our clothes were completely in the way.

"Touch me," I begged him. "Please, Edward…"

His hands moved up my stomach, leaving a trail of electrically charged skin behind him. When his hands reached behind my back I let go of the headboard and leaned over him. My hands held my weight, one on each side of his head, and I let my forehead rest against his.

After Edward had unclasped my bra, I sat up and let him pull it off of my arms. I bit my lip and watched his face as his hands gently cupped me. He smiled the cocky and endearing smile before pushing his hips up against me. I gasped when the movement coincided with his fingers gently pinching my nipples.

"So beautiful," he whispered.

The combination of his hands touching and teasing, mixed with the feeling of moving my hips over him became too much. I tried to concentrate on everything, wanting to remember each sensation that made its way through my body… but I couldn't. I'd stopped moving completely, letting Edward's hips and hands do the majority of the work while I held onto his arms.

"Come here," Edward softly requested.

He pulled me down to him and once my lips found his, he rolled me onto my back. His pelvis pushed against mine and our kisses muffled my moaning. My legs wrapped themselves around his hips and I pulled him to me.

It felt like I was unraveling and coiling at the same time. My lips moved with his while his mouth caught the moans and sighs that I couldn't keep at bay. My arms held on to his shoulders, trying to keep myself as close to him as possible, but it wasn't ever close enough.

"Edward, I… I can't…hold on…" I tried to explain the feelings taking over my body.

"It's okay," he spoke gently.

I let one of my hands slid up his shoulder to the back of his head. As I felt myself coming closer and closer to a total undoing of all of my senses, I threaded his hair through my fingers and pulled gently.

"Oh… my…" I started gasping.

Edward's mouth covered mine as every muscle in my body tightened around him. I wanted to scream… to cry… to laugh from the pleasure that had taken over. Instead I poured as much as I could into kissing the man I was wrapped around.

He groaned as my tongue and lips fought for control over his, but it was drowned out by the sputtering gasp that left my mouth when Edward started pushing his hips back against me. His hand slid down my body until he found my waist, holding me still. His movements and kisses became more urgent and even though it felt like every nerve ending in my entire body was frayed and raw, I tightened my body back around him. Edward's lips broke away from me as he leaned his forehead against mine.

I opened my eyes and watched as his face contorted with pleasure and concentration. Arching my back, I pushed up against him and watched as he lost control. His body fell against mine and our lips softly met.

"I love you," I whispered between kisses.

Edward smiled before pulling his head away. "Love you more."

We lay there, wrapped around each other, until both of us were fighting to keep our eyes opened. Edward left to go back to his own room and I immediately missed him. I pulled my jeans off and kicked them to the side before finding my shirt from earlier and putting it back on. Fighting off the sense of loss, I curled myself around one of my pillows.

I was nearly asleep when my bedroom door opened. Edward walked inside and after quietly shutting the door, rejoined me on the bed. As he crawled under the covers I noticed that he was now shirtless and wearing pajama bottoms.

"What…" I whispered.

He held up his cell phone and smiled. "I've set the alarm for four-thirty. I'll get up before your parents and go back to the guest room but I wanted to fall asleep with you."

I lay back down and let him wrap his body around mine. Our breathing fell in line together, matching, and I counted each one of them. Ninety-eight breaths later, I whispered that I loved him. Ninety-nine breaths later, I realized that I couldn't live without the man sleeping next to me. One hundred breaths later, Edward's arms tightened around me and I fell asleep.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! Whenever I decided that writing three stories at once was a good idea, I must have been stoned. Anyway… thank you for sticking with me! Mags, Trin… you guys rock.**


	6. Pretty Little Packages

**HOLY GEES AN ASSWARD UPDATE! I still down own anything.**

Was Valentines Day even really a holiday? It seemed a little forced, what with all of the pink and purple, hearts and flowers, candy and kisses. Maybe it was because this was the first time that I wouldn't be single on February fourteenth, but I was having a hard time buying in to the whole "roses are red violets are blue" bullshit. I told Edward I loved him everyday so why was Valentines Day supposed to make me mean it even more? My skepticism about this pseudo-holiday didn't seem to matter though, because Cupid had enlisted the help of my best friend to get me into the lovey-dovey spirit. That's how I ended up in an overpriced lingerie store, trying on undergarments that made me blush just from looking at them on the hanger.

"Tell me again why I'm doing this?"

Alice handed me a handful of things to try on. "Because Valentines Day is supposed to be sexy."

"Even if we aren't having sex?" I wearily looked at the insane amounts of silk and lace that hung on the little puffy satin hangers. "This seems a little excessive."

Without a second thought, Alice began stripping down to try on her portion of the lingerie. Hers had a lot less fabric and left very little to the imagination. She watched her reflection in the mirror while tying a satin ribbon into a bow that sat directly between her boobs.

"Maybe you'll have sex on Valentines Day." She turned to look at her side profile. "What are you waiting for anyway? I know you want to and I know that you've messed around with Edward. Why not just finish what you've started?"

How did I explain to a woman had absolutely no personal insecurities, that sex was something that scared the shit out of me. What if Edward and I didn't work out? What if I ended up pregnant? I just didn't think this was a decision that I could or should make lightly.

"You weren't nervous with Jasper?" I asked her. Alice waited until I had finished putting on a hideously bright pink ensemble before answering me.

"I was nervous." She fixed the straps that crossed across my back and nodded her head. "But then I realized that it was… right. It was something that I wanted to give Jasper. I'm not trying to make you feel like sex is something to just _do_ but Edward loves you, Bella. You don't have to be scared."

I stared at my reflection in the mirror in front of me. "I find it funny that you're campaigning for me to have premarital sex."

"I don't consider it sinful if I know you're going to end up married to him." Alice shrugged and handed me another item to try on. "And let's stay away from pinks. You need to look smoldering and seductive, not like you're covered in Pepto-Bismol."

xXxXxXx

The best part about working at the school's computer lab during nights and weekends was that nine times out of ten the place would be completely empty. The worst part about it was that, due to said emptiness, it was boring as hell the majority of the time. Thankfully, Edward had shown up on this particularly dull and boring Saturday night with coffee and a brownie.

I smiled as he walked towards me. "Hey."

He looked so adorably hot with his hair peeking out from the charcoal grey beanie he was wearing. Snowflakes were scattered across his dark coat and his nose and cheeks were tinted red from the wind that was blowing outside. After sitting our coffee cups and my brownie on the counter, he leaned forward and left a single kiss on my lips.

I smiled against his mouth. "I'm sorry sir, but no food or drinks are allowed in the computer lab."

"Oh yeah?" Edward laughed and leaned away from me. "Well my girlfriend is the night manager and I'm pretty sure she would allow an exception since I got the last triple chocolate fudge brownie from the bakery."

My fingers tapped the lid of one of the coffee cups. "And this?"

"Hazelnut coffee."

I nodded my head in approval. "As the night manager _and_ your girlfriend, I approve."

Edward laughed again, a sound that made my heart scamper around in my chest, and then pulled his beanie and coat off. "So, although I did come to deliver you coffee and food, I also came to make you talk about Valentines Day plans."

I took my coffee and sat back on my stool. "We don't have to do anything."

"So you keep saying," Edward leaned against the counter and unwrapped my brownie. "But I know that deep down you really do want to do something." He held a piece of the chocolate goodness up to my mouth and smiled. "So either you give me some ideas of what you want, or I can make some really grandiose plans that I know you'll hate."

My lips closed around his fingers, taking the brownie. "Okay, fine." I said around the chocolate in my mouth. After swallowing I took a drink of coffee and gave in. "No gifts, please and… I guess we can go to dinner. I don't care where as long as it is _not_ some ridiculous hundred dollar a plate restaurant. I don't want flowers because they will just die, but I am not opposed to chocolate unless you're worried that my ass will get too big… and even then… I am still not opposed to it."

"Guess it's a good thing that I'm not an ass man then, huh?"

I laughed and took another piece of the brownie from him. "And what kind of man are you?"

"I'm a whatever-you'll-let-me -fondle man." He leaned forward and gave me another kiss. "Do you have anyone in here studying?"

I shook my head and ran my fingertip across his bottom lip. "Would you like to break even more rules and come behind the 'employee only' counter and make out with the night manager, that just so happens to be your girlfriend and will let you fondle anything you want?"

Edward nodded and as he walked around the counter, I was immensely grateful that the University of Washington had been too cheap to install security cameras at the front entrance, leaving us free to break the rules without the risk of being caught.

xXxXxXx

I woke up on Valentines Day to find a cookie bouquet sitting outside our dorm room. All of the cookies were in the shapes of tulips and daises with a card simply said, _these won't die and I don't care if they make your ass big. Happy Valentines Day._ I unwrapped one of them and ate it for breakfast, smiling while I got ready.

Although Edward and I didn't have any classes together this semester, we did have classes in the same buildings at the same times, which meant that we could walk together. Normally, I would leave my English composition class to find him waiting with coffee for both of us; today he was holding a handful of chocolate kisses. After my calculus class, he had one of my favorite brownies. And even after my ethics class, Edward stood there holding hot chocolate and a muffin.

By the time I went back to my room to get ready for our dinner date, I wasn't really sure that I would be able to eat anything. He had given me so many treats throughout the day that I felt completely full.

The plan was for me to stay the night at Edward's apartment, not necessarily for sex, just to be able to spend the _whole_ night together. But the ever optimistic-about-Bella-loosing-her-V-card, Alice Brandon, slipped the pale pink and black bag that contained my purchase from the lingerie store into my overnight bag. She wished me luck, and told me to wear my hair down, before stealing one of my tulip cookies. I watched her walk out of our room in the tightest jeans known to man kind and shook my head.

When I'd told Edward that dinner was really the only thing that I'd wanted to do for Valentines Day, I had figured he would take me to some ridiculously expensive restaurant, even though I had asked him not to. So when he ended up just taking me back to his apartment, I was pleasantly surprised. That surprise morphed into laughter a few seconds after walking through his front door. The whole place reeked of smoke.

"Did you cook something?" I asked.

Edward sat my bag on the floor and then helped me take my coat off. "I _tried_ to cook and it didn't work. So, I settled for pizza and providing you with chocolate all day in a desperate hope that you wouldn't be hungry tonight."

I turned around to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "You want to know something?"

He nodded and leaned down to kiss me.

"Pizza sounds delicious."

Edward smiled against my lips. "Good."

With paper plates and greasy pizza, the two of us sat on the floor in his living room and had a very romantic, unromantic, dinner. There were no flowers or violins playing in the background, but Edward kept smiling and laughing while he explained exactly how he had messed up the meal he had been trying to make.

"So I had it all planned out," he sighed. "I was going to let it cook last night and then just reheat it in the oven tonight while I went to go pick you up. But then I accidently fell asleep and the next thing I know, the smoke alarm is going off and the whole thing looks like a piece of charcoal. I don't think I'll ever get rid of the smell."

I laughed and patted his leg. "It's the thought that counts."

Edward smiled and stole a piece of pepperoni off of my plate. "I got up early this morning and made sure that I had enough snacks to give you throughout the day, just in case."

I pushed my plate aside and carefully moved to sit on his lap before kissing him. "You're a very attentive boyfriend, Edward."

His arms wrapped around my waist and he nodded. "I deserve an award, I think."

"Oh yeah?" Pressing my chest against his, I ran my fingers through the back of his hair and smiled. "And what kind of award would you like?"

He lay back against the floor, keeping me on top of him. "This is pretty good… just… might want to remove a few things and…yup, just like that."

I'd sat up and pulled my sweater over my head, trying to ignore the same nervousness that always seemed to fill my stomach and chest when Edward and I were like this, and be the type of girlfriend that was actually comfortable being topless in front of her boyfriend.

Like every other time, Edward would cautiously take control and the two of us would push what little boundaries we did have. My mind became so clouded with lust and want that I didn't even think about stopping when Edward pulled my jeans off of my legs and laid me back against the carpeted floor. When my bra mysteriously ended up being thrown onto the couch, all I knew was that the feeling of Edward's bare chest pressed against mine, and his lips kissing the side of my neck was not something I wanted to end. Ever.

"Bella," Edward groaned while his hips pushed against mine. "We've…"

I shook my head and tightened my legs around him. "Don't. Just…" My fingers clawed at his shoulders. "Please don't stop, Edward."

He didn't need any persuasion to do what I asked. The two of us writhed around on the floor with the only barrier between us being his jeans and my underwear; they hardly left anything to the imagination, but still, I wanted more.

The feeling of Edward's body pressed up against mine was better than anything I'd ever felt in my entire life, but even with all of the rubbing and touching, it still left a hollow aching in the pit of my stomach. It would always creep up just as I was starting to really enjoy what we were doing and then subside once I'd come down off of the high that Edward always brought me to. But the more we did this, the more we experimented, the more I wanted the damn hollow feeling to go away.

Edward's hand curled around my hip and then my thigh, moving my leg higher up on his and opening them wider. His lips pulled at my earlobe while he rolled his hips against mine and then… I just lost it.

"Jesus Christ!" I yelled loudly.

Edward sat up, looking like a shirtless, lust-induced hallucination with jeans that barely covered his hips and hair that was practically standing on end. "What?" He asked breathlessly. "Are you okay?"

I covered my face with my hands and shook my head. "I can't…"

"Bella, we don't have to keep going… I thought-"

"No." I sat up, pushing Edward onto his knees. "I want to. I _really_ want… more. I can't keep telling myself that this is enough for us because it obviously isn't."

"I'm not pushing you… am I? Because I don't want to do this if-"

"Edward, listen to me." I grabbed his face and made him look at me. "I want to have sex with you. Tonight. Right now."

He smiled, slowly at first and then it got bigger. "You're sure?"

I nodded my head. "I love you."

"I love you, too. And you know what?"

"What?"

Edward quickly stood up and pulled me with him. "We aren't having sex on the floor."

It took a lot of will on my part to pull away from Edward's lips and hands, once he'd led me into his bedroom. But I wanted this to be special and perfect, which it would be, but the lingerie in my bag would make it even more so.

So I left Edward sitting on his bed, in nothing but his boxers, and excused myself to his bathroom. After brushing my teeth and applying a light layer of lip gloss, I dug the shopping bag out and tossed the tissue paper onto the counter. With giddy excitement I pulled the lingerie out of the bag, only to drop it once I realized what it was.

"Are you kidding me?" I loudly asked myself. Sitting in the crumpled black tissue paper was the skimpiest lingerie that I'd ever seen that was the exact set that Alice had purchased for herself. "She got the bags mixed up!"

Edward knocked on the door and then slowly opened it. "What?"

I motioned down to the satin and lace on the counter. "Alice got the bags mixed up which means she's got my very sexy, yet sensible, black lace lingerie while I ended up with this!"

He looked at the counter and then back at me. "You got lingerie?"

I shrugged and threw Alice's yellow monstrosity back into the bag. "I was trying to be sexy and… even though I wasn't planning on having sex with you tonight I just… I wanted it to be special and perfect…"

I wiped the tears off of my cheeks and then got annoyed with myself. Why was I crying? I mean sure, it sucked that the bags had been mixed up, but was it really worth me standing in Edward's bathroom crying about it?

"Bella," he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and tucked me against his chest. "Let's just go to bed."

"What?" I asked him. "Edward, no I-"

His lips pressed against my ear as he whispered, "I will make love to you, Bella, just not tonight. Not when you're upset like this."

"But, I'm fine… really." I didn't know if I was trying to convince him or myself.

He smiled and kissed my ear, then my cheek, and seemed to know the answer for both of us. "You and I are too original to be so cliché that we have sex for the first time on Valentines Day. So tomorrow night, you get your sexy, _yet sensible_, black lingerie and I'll come pick you up for dinner."

"Yeah?" I quietly asked him.

Edward leaned down and placed a small kiss on my lips. "Don't pack anything but the sexy, sensible black lace."

**AN: I am not even going to try and make up an excuse for the lack of updates for this story. Just know that I had some serious blocks and hopefully they will be over. Happy New Year!**


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